Monday

The day you find out you don't have to die to go to hell...

me: Am I dead?
friend: No, but you are in hell.
me: how?
friend: It's monday.

by Bloesem September 4, 2018

Monday Problems

When everything goes wrong on any given day, and it feels like a Monday.

Ugh, My computer isn't loading at all no matter what I do! Must be Monday Problems!

by DragonSkittles September 17, 2018

Colorado Monday

Taking a day off school in order for students to have at least one school day to smoke weed

Mom: Honey, get ready for school!
Jerry: No way mom, it's a Colorado Monday
Mom: Oh right, then I guess you'll have to help me pull out some weeds *wink*
Dad: What's going on here?

by Dick Clicker September 20, 2018

Monday Cookie

A shot of bourbon Monday morning

Paul: Hey John how are you doing today?

John: Great, just had my Monday cookie and I am ready to go!

by Racecur September 22, 2018

Business Monday

Between 1800 to 0000 on a Sunday evening when most businesses are closed, and for all intents and purposes, it might as well be Monday.

T: "I've already got two things done off my to do list for this week."
A: "Don't you mean next week?"
T: "Yeah but it might as well be tomorrow now."
A: <shrugs> "Business Monday, innit."

by nekro3 May 16, 2018

monday

The day that you realize that you don't have to die to go to hell.

me: Is this hell?
friend: Yes.
Me: Am I dead?
Friend: No, it's monday.

by Bloesem April 16, 2018

Meme Monday

Meme Monday is the last Monday of every month. On this day you have to print out a picture of a fresh and good meme and tape it to your shirt for the day.

Bonus points if it is imbedded onto the shirt!

Friend: Why do you have a shirt of Michael saying "That's what she said"
Me: Its Meme Monday you uncultured swine.
Friend: Oh you right!

by EU Terrorist November 5, 2019