The Calamari

When you and your partner press asshole to asshole and both push at the same time so they suction cup together.

Last night in the bath me and my lady did the calamari and she ripped out some of my butthole hair

by Cliffypoo June 21, 2017

Crispy Calamari

Receiving a reach around in a restaurant bathroom stall

When we were out at Applebee’s, she gave me a crispy calamari.

by anonymous March 21, 2025

Desert Calamari

Foreskins of circumcised people.

An excised foreskin has a “chewy” texture & ring shape to it. Ironically, in Jewish tradition, circumcision is mandated, however shellfish including squid are prohibited to be eaten as they are unclean. Circumcision has its roots in desert societies including the ancient hebrews, Egyptians & later on in Islam.

And so the mohel cut off his desert calamari!

by ThreeThreeOneThreeThree July 24, 2022

Forbidden Calamari

The circumcised foreskin

My doctor cut off my forbidden calamari last week and I’m still recovering.

by Chester the mole tester November 13, 2023

calamari tugboat

Getting a firm handjob from a sailor while covered in squid ink

Petty officer told me that he was gonna show me the calamari tugboat maneuver, I'm not sure what that is but he's been so helpful since I got here

by TheLordOfFridges June 12, 2024

One calamari away from losing it

When you're having such a terrible time that you are one inconvenience away from losing your shit. When you expect onion rings and find out its calamari.

After the shit day I've had I am one calamari away from losing it.

by anonymous October 13, 2020

Calamary

A Squid that gets abused by people on discord

My friend walked into the bar and yelled out, "Calamary!"

by noturavgmom April 20, 2017