Ted Cruz Cancun Trip

A unit of measure equivalent to 3" that represents the amount of snow Texas received before Ted Cruz fled to Mexico.

Girl 1: How was your dick appointment yesterday?
Girl 2: Terrible, he had a micro peen.
Girl 1: Like Ted Cruz Cancun Trip??
Girl 2: Smaller...

by Nuclear Grade February 22, 2021

ted cruz face

If you happen to uses Preparation H for vaginall lube.
Your child will look like senator Ted Cruz.

Why is your baby so fuckin Ugly?
Well that's what happens when you run out of KY. And your wife's pussy can't make it's own spit.
You get a baby with Ted Cruz Face.

by ImpalaPhil March 18, 2021

Ted Cruz hire

(n.) An employee who nobody likes to work with, nobody enjoys to be around but for whatever reason one or a few very powerful people want them there anyway.

Well, the Ted Cruz hire finally got caught stealing from the employee fridge but even then nothing will be done about it.

by arf79 June 6, 2024

Take a Ted Cruz

When you go on vacation right when your job needs you the most

Texas Senator Ted Cruz went to Cancún when snow storms devastated Texas.

"Work is having a crisis I don't feel like dealing with, so I'm going to take a Ted Cruz."

by Texas Caveman February 19, 2021

Take a Ted Cruz

When you leave your constituents to freeze to death, so you could go on a vacation.

Man I'm so tired of working for the people of this state, Its so cold and there is no power.

Don't worry you just need to "Take a Ted Cruz" to Cancun for a few weeks.

by FUDGEPOOP February 18, 2021

a ted cruz

when you “accidentally” like a pornographic post.

*scrolling through feed*
*thumb accidentally hits like on pornographic post*
me: “Oh shit i just pulled a ted cruz”
friend: “niiice dude”

by madnik May 9, 2018

The Ted Cruz

A sexual desire/fetish to stick your toe in and out of a vagina.

He wanted to do "The Ted Cruz", but that was too freaky for me.

by rumorhasyou November 12, 2018