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per rectum

Patient: doctor , I have a pain and swelling in the ass
Doctor: You have hemorrhoids. Get this suppositories, and use it twice in a day per rectum.
Patient: doctor, what does 'per rectum mean'?

Doctor: apply it rectally

Patient: what is rectally? Can you explain it simple?
Doctor (getting annoyed): Through the ass!
by dildo777 November 10, 2017
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Satan's Rectum

Satan's Rectum refers the asshole or rectum of an individual who's rectal cavity is so dirty, wretchedly foul, unclean and repugnant, that it emanates vile and putrid odors permeating the air like a vicious sword cutting through the nasal membranes. Surrounding individuals encounter a stench aura and obscene, olfactory cling rivaling the world’s most stinky cheeses. Smells attributed to Satan’s Rectum include combinations of Limburger Cheese served in a squalid jock strap, a Roquefort served in a fecal filled diaper, an Epoisses served in a dry sauna with a bucket of rotten eggs, or a Camembert served on the floor of a portable toilet after a Rave. Satan’s Rectum compounds one's miry ass with habitual bung hole ecructation of shit vapors and shit fumes with the viscosity of rancid butter. The amalgam is mistaken for a demonic entity extruding bile and vomit in an biblical exorcism. Individuals encountering the insidious rank report dry mouth, watery eyes, overwhelming nausea, violent retching, dry heaves and violent emesis. Such demonic, iniquitous permeations have been likened to the smell of Jeffrey Dahmer’s freezer during an extended power outage, the eviscerated decomposing corpse of an 800 pound man, and the rotting, gangrenous flesh caused by bacterial infection combined with severe bromhidrosis (body odor). Satan's Rectum is very well known for its association with Heinous Anus Fragrance.
For weeks she retched and gagged. For weeks her eyes watered. Her vomiting gave fear to concerns of impending death. The smell of rotten eggs hastend the call to her Priest for cleansing. Her love of stinky cheese ended in gagging at the thought. Her own malevolent body odor made the entity sweet as morning dew. Her search for the source compounded by inability to rid her nostrils of the demon clinging inside her. Then, by devine intervention, her roommate bent down before her amd in all his glory he revealed himself. Satan's Rectum stood before her.
by Eaton Holgoode April 17, 2014
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Rectum Rooter

That lucky fellow who has a wife or girlfriend that likes to be spontaneous while having sex with her. After being a thorough Bung Licker and totally cleansing her stink star, he reaches for his Jack Juice and liberally coats his rock hard cock and her gumhole and proceeds to enter her balloon knot ever so slowly. Once he has buried his root, balls deep in her rectum, he begins a gentle pattern of slowly withdrawing and reentering her turdcutter. He gradually builds up speed, pistoning away until reaching the point of no return and gushing his man load deep inside her tailpipe, thus being her ever loving Rectum Rooter.
Todd: Hey Larry, you have never been so relaxed. What gives?

Larry: Man, Linda was one hell of a Bag Lapper last night and she begged me to be her Rectum Rooter as I was being a Bung Tounger. She didn't have to ask me twice. The Jack Juice made it one hell of great way to dump the biggest load I ever had in her tight as hell tailhole.

Todd: Damn, at least she wasn't a Bunghole Bandit. You lucky bastard.
by The King Cornholer April 15, 2008
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Rectum Scale

A system of measuring flatulance. Similiar to the Richter Scale but used to measure assquakes as opposed to earthquakes.
Man... i dropped a bomb in class today that must have been at least a 7.5 on the rectum scale.
by jerk jiggler February 20, 2005
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Red Rectum Ringer Stinger

A Red Rectum Ringer Stinger, commonly referred to as RRRS, is a powerful ejection of faeces, where the victim experiences violent and painful diarrhea following consumption of brutally spicy Indian food.
This results in an acute burning sensation around the rectum and sometimes even swelling and redness.
"Jesus, my asshole looks like a sundried tomato after last nights curry. I think that Red Rectum Ringer Stinger ruptured my sphincter."
by Mr. Jive November 18, 2009
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restupulous

(ree-stew-pew-lus)

meaning ridiculously stupid, fuckin retarded
That guy is flippin' restupulous.
by chewy dick November 15, 2007
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Rectum Bandit

One who likes to steal the virginity of someone else through anal sex only.
Kid 1: Dude, did you hear that Frank was a Rectum Bandit?

Kid 2: Yeah, my ass hurts already.
by FrankyFirecrotch January 14, 2009
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