as pissed as a mattress

Sufficiently drunk to be able to speak in tongues, roll eyes, disable the beer GPS, have taxi drivers take one to the police, break ankles, shag your manager (or someone elses)and ultimately become mpp. Only excuse is "I have to go somewhere, and do something" Anyway...

"He would not have luged the stairs if he was not as pissed as a mattress"
"I (he, she or it) was as pissed as a mattress last night"
"Must be MPP, pissed as a mattress when I left him"
"Pyromaniac? No, just pissed as a mattress"
"No, I didn't do that, must have been pissed as a mattress"
"Don't hit me again, Officer"

by Taipei toecutter June 1, 2006

pissed as your nans mattress

nans mattress, pisseds aS

After a bottol of bailys you will be as pissed as your nans mattress

by Ed Jackson February 6, 2004

meatless grinder

(v): From the East Coast name for a submarine sandwich, the act of two women grinding their vaginas together with no penis present.

"My sister just called me to tell me about the meatless grinder she fired up with her roommate."

by Austin Pealy August 22, 2009

Mattressing

When you're at a house party, and you've drinken too much, and go to lay down in an empty room and inadvertently end up in bed with 5 or more people. While everyone else either falls off or leaves, one, or even two couples will stay and makeout on you. Literally on you, making you their 'mattress'.

Person1: Hey baby, last night was great! ;)
Person2: Yeah it was! But your bed felt kind of weird.
Person1: Oh yeah!! It was because Paris was mattressing for us!

by TheMattressGirl August 4, 2012

mattress back whore

A girl closely related to or one and the same as a "Cum Guzzling Gutter Slut" So ready for sex that she has a mattress strapped to her back at all times.

Rob's nickname for his girlfriend was either "Mattress Back Whore" or "Cum Guzzling Gutter Slut" though he rarely called her those names in public.

by xeno1 February 11, 2014

Moving the mattress

Verb.

1) Euphamism for "getting jiggy with it"

2) Well, when a man loves a woman, or a man loves a man, or a woman loves a woman, or a group of people love eachother, they get together, in private, public, or sometimes on camera, often on a mattress, and participate in sexual activity, often moving the mattress in the process.

3) What Kristin is calling it these days

Person 1: Wow! I hear Krisitin and her bf were really moving the mattress last night!

Person 2: Yeah, i hear they burst a pipe

by Mingo_Fiercest December 15, 2009

Mattress Test Pilot

A slut picked up for the express purpose of breaking in a new bed or mattress.

I needed to properly break in my new bed, so I went clubbing and picked up a Mattress Test Pilot.

by Charlie Tang July 21, 2005