Amish vibrator

A dragonfly in a milk bottle. A useful tool for horny women with wide hips and an aversion to electricity.

Mary is ditching us tonight for her Amish vibrator.

by Amish Pornstar September 7, 2010

Amish Handjob

The act of using two wooden spoons, liberally spread with churned butter, to beat one's self or others off in an aggressive manner.

Went out last night looking for sex, but I settled for an Amish Handjob.

by theanonymousamish December 23, 2018

amish sweep

When you have a ton of shit to clean up after a party (usually beer cans/bottles), and you work your ass off to clean it up and are amish while doing so.

Jimmy: "Damn this place is a mess, I'm going to have to do an amish sweep in the morning."

by FULL_SENDER_69 October 30, 2017

Amish Paradise

AS I WORK IN THE VALLEY

HARVESTING MY GRAIN
I LOOK AT MY WIFE
AND REALIZE--
yeah, no

IT'S HARD WORK AND SACRIFICE LIVIN' IN AN AMISH PARADISE!

by [Username Not Found] December 16, 2019

Amish Jelly

1. (noun) A jar filled with ones own ejaculate, likely to be sold for consumption. Other uses include therapeutic message lotion, hair gel and sunscreen.

2. (noun) Fresh hand churned man cream that is then put in small jars to be preserved for later use.

Bob: What did you end up getting your mom for Christmas?

Stan: Well bob, I wanted her gift to be special so i gave her a jar of my famous Amish jelly.
Bob: What a great idea!

Kevin: what did you bring for lunch today johnny?
Johnny: My dad made me a fresh peanut butter and Amish jelly sandwich this morning.
Kevin: lucky! Can i please have a bite?
Johnny: Of course you can!

by wildsully September 23, 2010

Amish Orgy

A large crowd of people packed in a small area, in which everyone is fully clothed and no one is having fun.

"God, did you see that crowd?"

"Yeah man, it was a total Amish orgy"

by StoneCliff March 7, 2012

Amish Shower

When two people engage in sexual concourse beneath a full grown female cow and are about to reach climax, the dominant of the two proceeds to milk the engorged teets of the cow covering the other in unpasteurized milk.

Martha and I found a local farmers field, a Cow and we gave each other an Amish Shower until the morning.

by Lando Calhoun October 23, 2014