Spaff Gamble

Deciding on whether or not to indulge in the act of masturbation in the knowledge of limited time before the return of an obstructing party. i.e a girlfriend who has gone to the shops for 10 minutes.

I feel like some relief, but Jane's only gone out for 10 minutes. Should I or shouldn't I? This is a bit of a spaff gamble.

by Nested Elevator November 7, 2017

Spoofa

Filter device used to disguise the smell of marijuana usually made with a tube such as toilet paper or paper towel with dryer sheets attached in a way to filter marijuana smell as you blow through it

My spoofa works great so the neighbors don't know what's up

by NOZZYZZON September 11, 2018

Spofflim

When you are almost dating someone, but aren’t official. You could also have been speaking to this person for awhile so are both off-limits. Spofflim is an anagram for speaking. It’s a way to explain your relationship status.

Are you and Jacob spofflim yet?

I heard Ellie and Jacob were spofflim!

by Blake1882 June 4, 2019

spaff

A term for masturbation made popular by E4 comedy 'The Inbetweeners.'

(Reading a self-penned valentine's card) "Jay, you massive stud, please spaff on my tits. From your valentine's bitch. PS. And on my face."

by Choadalay-dee-heeee January 9, 2013

Splaff

A splaff is a person that every pub owner in town knows. He or she will have invariably been barred from most of the pubs but ultimately the pub will change hands and the unsuspecting owner will let the splaff in without trouble.

Everybody knows exactly who the splaff is when they meet them at night but due to state dependent memory have little memory of them when they are sober.

The place got trashed last night. That splaff knocked over tables and glasses. They're not getting in here again.

by DonAdrianoDeArmando August 25, 2012

spaff rag

piece of cloth used to wipe up excess semen.

'If I wake up one more time with a spaff rag stuck to my face there'll be trouble!'

by sinemenacheck February 18, 2005

spaffed

Boris Johnson defines spaffed as 'the spending of public money on non-recent child abuse investigations'.

“You know, £60m I saw was being spaffed up a wall on some investigation into historic child abuse and all this kind of thing. What on earth is that going to do to protect the public now?”

by This Is Not Rob March 13, 2019