accelated reader

gayest fucking piece of shit educational program ever

AR is a big load of shit

by Witch Nose October 14, 2004

lightweight reader

Someone who gets sleepy or passes out shortly after starting to read.

"Im so screwed for this test, I didn't study at all."
"Why not? We had all week!"
"Im a lightweight reader man, I never made it past section one."

by Orionis70 March 18, 2012

Welcome Reader

Adj. To describe a piece of written work that is so good it is worthy of being prefaced by, "Welcome Reader. You are about to embark on an epic journey through the fabric of the English language."

Dude, that "Welcome Reader" essay you wrote got like an A+++

Obama's "Welcome Reader" speech swung my vote to him.

by IfBOSWT February 3, 2009

Taint Reader

Someone who can tell the future by reading taints.

So, taint reader, what can you tell me about my future?

Your taint tells me you're about to get your salad tossed!

Your taint tells me you're about to get a tongue in your pussy!

by ExoticTransporter August 25, 2014

reader's remorse

When you read a series too fast and realize you'll have to wait several years for the next part.

"Why did I read all of George R. R. Martin's books at once? Why didn't I pace myself?"
"Ah my friend, you've got a case of Reader's Remorse."

by flashwildecard August 24, 2016

whale reader

A reader who consumes annually more books than the rest of the population combined.

A voracious reader.

Jane: I read 600 books last year.
John: Wow, you're a whale reader.
Jane: Yes. Yes, I am.
John: Don't get cocky.

by Groatsworth June 21, 2019

butter reader

person, usually an old lady, who completely blocks the aisle in a grocery store with both their body and their cart while they stare at a product without moving for a very long time and get extremely offended if you say "excuse me" or any similar phrase to them. Bizarrely, more of them have come into existence since covid.

I wish that butter reader would move, I want to get some ice cream!

by TV's Katie January 22, 2021