Procrasturbate

The act of masturbating when you have other things to be doing.

Man I have this book report due but it's ok if I procrasturbate first, now I have to come up with some bull-shit excuse to tell my teacher.

by Shaunquavious March 20, 2010

procrasturbating

Variant of procrastinate, but connoting the heightened pleasure achieved during the performance of otherwise mundane activities when said activities are performed as an act of procrastination. Can also connote the subsequent desperate guilt or depression felt upon becoming fully aware of true nature of the act. Succinctly expresses the essence of the wise adage, “Procrastination is a lot like masturbation: it seems like a lot of fun until you realize you’re just fucking yourself.”

Even though I'd seen Dirty Dancing twelve times before, I could've sworn this 13th viewing was the best. Then I realized I was procrasturbating, my midterm is still tomorrow morning, and now I want to puke.

by CAATAD February 20, 2008

Procrasterbating

Masturbating when there are important things to be done, or deadlines to meet.

I didn't finish my report because I was procrasterbating.

by Uh...Fred? November 13, 2011

procrasturbation

masturbation for the intent of putting off other more important and imminent tasks, like studying for finals.

Procrasturbation... Alex is such a procrasturbator, he's got jizz all over his textbooks

by Marinaaa May 24, 2007

Procrasturbating

To spend your time masturbating when you should be doing other things

Man I didn't get any work done earlier, I was too busy Procrasturbating!

by b2b April 14, 2009

procrasturbate

To waste otherwise valuable time in self-stimulation of the genitals, or more metaphorically, to waste time doing something unrelated and unimportant to the task at hand; it must be of great interest/pleasure to oneself but only to oneself (which separates it from procrastination) and must have no real positive or substantial upshots.

Keane should be writing an essay but he's procrasturbating.

I can see why nothing gets done in the house; Suzy often tends to procrasturbate by watching The Notebook over and over again.

by Keane B June 11, 2006

procrasterbate

v. to masturbate instead of tending to one's responsibilities, where the obvious and more productive and/or beneficial choice, such as finishing one's work or getting much needed rest, is put off for the duration of the "me time" session, and often ignored altogether.

see also procrasterbation, procrasterbator, procrasterbatory

frank: sorry i'm too tired to drive, man. i'm exhausted.
dave: really? didnt you go to your room to pass out at real early last night?
frank: yeah, but i didn't end up going to sleep until about 3 or so.
dave: why?
frank: i dont know, man. i watched "wild things" and it was stupid of me, but i started to procrasterbate for however long it takes form the opening credits to the end of that threesome scene.

or

jenny: what time will you be ready to go to the store to get ingredients for chili night?
kara: probably about five o'clock or so, but call me.
jenny: i swear, if you procrasterbate and aren't ready until a quarter past, you're done for.

by steve m g December 26, 2007