Malteser

A teacher who is apparently REALLY fit but has maffis eyes and is on anti-depressants and is also rumoured to be a the forgotten star on porn hub (and is also a real bitch/slut)

"I wonder is my teacher a Malteser"

by idonthavechlamidiya June 12, 2018

maltese breakfast

A sexually deviant act committed by Maltese waiters to unsuspecting holiday makers which involves the Maltese waiter ejaculating into the food and drinks of his customers and stirring the food and drinks with his cock.

Stuart went to Malta and on his first day had a Maltese Breakfast with his wife

by TheMalteseFalcione October 15, 2019

Pink Malteser

The name commonly referring to a small penis; Malteser being the name of a popular confectionery brand in the UK in the form of small chocolate balls.

"Wow, did you see the size of that guys cock?"
"Yeah, I know! It was about the size of a Pink Malteser!"

by Phantasium August 31, 2012

Pop a Malteser

To kill oneself using means of drugged sweets
To avoid a problem

A man gives you slightly warm maltesers and you question why they are warm

When you’re tired of a situation, the option is there

Ah yeah, Johnny, did you not hear? He popped a malteser last week

This coffee shop makes me wanna pop a malteser

by Barney_the_dinosaur November 23, 2021

Maltese steve

A man /God walking amongst mere mortals ,has the thickest mane ,strong greasy Back Bush, a great after shave sales man ,who has the cock of a palomino horse .

Heybthats maltese steve ,I thought he was a myth ,look at that wedlock perm

by the beesting December 19, 2022

Malteser pleaser

Another name for someone’s asshole or anus

“God i would love to stick it in her Malteser pleaser”

by Yourtitsbelonginamorgue March 8, 2023

Puckering Maltesers

The act of shiting oneself in fear so much that you can't retain control of your asshole and so little globs of malteser shaped poo come out uncontrollably.

Manchester United are puckering maltesers at the prospect of playing Manchest City today.

by SebilCrostar August 7, 2025