.44 Magnum Retirement Plan

When you fail to save and invest enough money for retirement and grow too old or get sick and can no longer work to earn money to maintain the lifestyle you are accustomed to. The .44 Magnum Retire Plan may be an option for you! Just place a loaded, high powered firearm to the side of your head or in your mouth and pull the trigger. All your retirement worries will disappear in an instant!

Clarence: “Hey Lance, how is your retirement portfolio looking?”.
Lance: “It’s strong to quite strong”.
Clarence: “Nice! You must have gotten in early on some wireless I.P.O.’s and made a killing!”.
Lance: “No. Truth be told, I haven’t saved or invested shit towards retirement. I’m 68 now and in failing health. I’m on the .44 Magnum Retirement Plan!”.

by E. Barlow June 22, 2021

Magnum PI's

Very tight, upper-thigh length shorts that were popular in the 1980's and were a staple of Tom Selleck's wardrobe in the popular television series Magnum P.I. These shorts usually clearly outline one's package and leave nothing to the imagination. Frequently worn by those with a mullet.

I was out of clean clothes so I threw on some Magnum PI's. I spent all day tucking back the meat to keep from playin turtle and scaring the locals.

by Salvadore McGillicutty June 16, 2008

magnum

A brand of extra large condoms.

While your at the pharmacy get magnums cuz we dont want another accident. And large didnt fit last time.

by idontgot1 August 5, 2008

Magnum

An incredibly powerful handgun

Ah ah! I know what you're thinking punk. You're thinking 'did he fire six shots or only five?'. Well, to tell you the truth, I forgot myself in all this excitement. But being as this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and can blow your head clean off, you'd better ask yourself a question. Do I feel lucky? Well? Do ya? Punk!

(Loud gunshot)

by Snake July 18, 2004

.357 magnum

A handgun cartridge based on the .38 special. A handgun chambered in .357 magnum can generally utilize the .38 special cartridge.

A gun marked .38 special cannot use a .357 magnum cartridge. Using such a cartridge may cause said handgun to explode.

Please ignore the author on here who claims "you don't blow up a .38 caliber gun by shootings .357s through it".

He is not correct!!!

Attempting to shoot a .357 magnum cartridge through a firearm chambered in .38 special is dangerous!

Officer: "I do not have confidence in my weapon's ability to neutralize a suspect."

Firearm Dealer: "Have you considered upgrading to a weapon chambered in .357 magnum?"

by J. Lotta August 27, 2010

Magnum XL

A brand of condoms, designed for "extra large" sized dicks... however, most often purchased by men who are barely above average and could have saved themselves the extra five bucks... mostly with the intent that it will slide off inside the receiving hole, resulting in better sensation, pregnancy and herpes.

Drugstore Cashier: OMG! He's so cute AND he just bought Magnum XL condoms... he must be huge!

Condom user *internal dialog*: damn I hope this shit comes off when I'm hittin' that ass... cause I know I ain't gonna feel nothin' in that torn up pussy if it don't

by legitimate MagnumXL user June 24, 2006

Magnum sipper

Magnum Tonic Wine is a fortified tonic wine that has found great acceptance in Jamaica and the Caribbean. A unique ready-to-drink offering that is bottled at 16.5% alc/vol, Magnum is made with Vigorton 2, which includes iron, minerals and vitamin B6.

'Magnum sipper ' Digga d -woi

by Marlow90 September 10, 2020