Keaton

Once steps into room, you'll never love any boy again. He will make sure you love him, just to break your heart. You know you'll always love him, but you have to move on.

'Keaton, if you leave, I will never have true love.'
or
'Keaton is the nicest person in this room.

Keaton by THE REAL PERSON!!!! December 10, 2018

Keaton

A unit of measurement that has been appropriated in quantifying the size, impact, level of exhilaration and force by which any marijuana smoking apparatus (bong, blunt, spliff, joint, baby leg, water pipe, sherlock pipe, corncob pipe, knife hit, yes, even knife hit...&c...) may be considered. Another note about this measurement or measurement system is that it differs from most measurement systems in that it is not fixed. What does this mean? It means that one day your bong could be 1 keaton, while the next day your same bong might be 14.7 keatons. It fails enormously when trying to be exact, but instead takes into account the immediate emotional response of the people nearest to the apparatus. (In certain cultures, the Keaton has been transposed from the domain of stoners to the domain of any natural object that is organic and carbon based (tree, lizard, shrub...&c....)

Bob Hope: What a tremendous feat bob saget! Your bong is at the bare minimum at least 2.7 keatons!

Keaton by logar the barbarian September 23, 2009

Keaton

Real nigga, will bang you if you chat shit. Hench big man and doesn't take anything from anyone

John "Wagwan pussy"
Keaton "Fuck off" *Bangs out*

Keaton by Skreerbob December 14, 2017

Keaton

Really likes Kanye

Keaton: Kanye is the fucking goat

Keaton by Kanyelover808 August 21, 2022

Keaton

A guy with the fastest black cock you'll ever see. He will fuck you while he watches anime.

Keaton is a big dicker downer

Keaton by Keaton fuck you March 21, 2019

Keaton

I'm the BADDEST BITCH you know! And when I say savage, I mean B-I-C-T-H...and that's OWNNN PERIODTTT.

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That One Friend: Keaton is the baddest bitch I know, he will slay yo ass if he wants to bitch, don't play with him!
Me (Keaton): I know she said it, but girl you don't have to sayyy it... C'mere boy, lemme show you how I play with a hottie like yourself...
That One Hot Guy: But I'm not gay!? *then he low-key winks at me tho*
Me: Yeah, I know. You think your slick, I saw that... BuT Do I lOoK liKe I giVe A f*cK iF YoU AiN't DoWn To F*Ck!?
That One Hot Guy: I think you do... *low-key winks again*
That One Friend (in the background): Ooohhh bitch, GeT InTo It!!!
Me and That One Hot Guy: Go our separate ways but we got each other's numbers...
That One Friend (following me down the hallway to get the wHoLe TEA): Sooooo bitch... WhAt HappEnD!?

Keaton by #everything'sfunny June 3, 2020

Keaton

A guy that's a real dick. He probably is super ugly and is rude. He likes to tell girls they're fat. He is abnormally small and a druggie.

"Omg look at that loser what a Keaton."

Keaton by The truth forreals April 13, 2015