by Jimmy January 20, 2005
by Cuntasorus September 16, 2018
shitty place to live, full of fakes everywhere and creeps. if you wanna live here i would say British Columbia is a place to go.
by flamessuck January 28, 2019
I would like to set the record straight about my city.
Yes, Calgary blows.
But it is STILL better than Edmonton.
We have ALL kinds of people...
Which means that, in fact, no we are not all red neck hicks. I would say like any other city we've got every kind of person... You can't honestly believe that you can group one million people into one category.
No, the night life is not fantastic, but it is still good. There are around five clubs that are pretty awesome.
I do believe that Calgary's just a baby still. It's growing up and, FINGERS CROSSED, it's only gonna get cooler (it obviously can't get worse).
Yes, Calgary blows.
But it is STILL better than Edmonton.
We have ALL kinds of people...
Which means that, in fact, no we are not all red neck hicks. I would say like any other city we've got every kind of person... You can't honestly believe that you can group one million people into one category.
No, the night life is not fantastic, but it is still good. There are around five clubs that are pretty awesome.
I do believe that Calgary's just a baby still. It's growing up and, FINGERS CROSSED, it's only gonna get cooler (it obviously can't get worse).
by Roar1234567890987654321 March 18, 2011
Calgary is a beautiful city in western Canuckistan. It is known by insiders for a nearly omnipotent police force; indeed, the Calgary police regularly catches heinous criminals in the act of parking more than 200 cm from the curb.
The city with the most insanely expensive cars per capita.
For the mathematically inclined, Calgary's road system was designed from scratch to be an example that shows that solving NP-complete problems while driving is bad.
Calgary consistently ranks in the top 10 cities in terms of quality of life and eco-friendliness. These are less defining characteristics, and more properties. However, a defining characteristic is that Calgary receives the second strongest Chinook winds; Lethebridge receiving the strongest Chinook winds. Chinook winds are sent by the Gods to make everyone sick by quickly altering the temperature from -20 to +20.
The city with the most insanely expensive cars per capita.
For the mathematically inclined, Calgary's road system was designed from scratch to be an example that shows that solving NP-complete problems while driving is bad.
Calgary consistently ranks in the top 10 cities in terms of quality of life and eco-friendliness. These are less defining characteristics, and more properties. However, a defining characteristic is that Calgary receives the second strongest Chinook winds; Lethebridge receiving the strongest Chinook winds. Chinook winds are sent by the Gods to make everyone sick by quickly altering the temperature from -20 to +20.
Driver: I got a ticket for having my steering wheel turned to 22 degrees while parked.
Friend: You must have parked in Calgary.
At a distance...
Police trainee (to Officer): Shouldn't I feel bad about giving such ridiculous tickets.
Police officer: No. Everybody in Calgary is rich.
----
Newcomer to Calgary: Whoa, is that a Ferrari being followed by a Lamborghini?
Calgarian: Pick your jaw up! I bought two last week, you can have one if you want.
----
Driver: How do I get to your place; I'm on the opposite end of the city?
Friend on phone: It's easy. Just solve the k-Clique problem for k=33.
----
If it's too cold for you, wait 10 minutes.
Friend: You must have parked in Calgary.
At a distance...
Police trainee (to Officer): Shouldn't I feel bad about giving such ridiculous tickets.
Police officer: No. Everybody in Calgary is rich.
----
Newcomer to Calgary: Whoa, is that a Ferrari being followed by a Lamborghini?
Calgarian: Pick your jaw up! I bought two last week, you can have one if you want.
----
Driver: How do I get to your place; I'm on the opposite end of the city?
Friend on phone: It's easy. Just solve the k-Clique problem for k=33.
----
If it's too cold for you, wait 10 minutes.
by Calgarian November 8, 2011
the best city in the world....Syke shit calgary is full of borind white peolpe and trashy white nigga digging hoes. But theres is a plus you get tooo see some of the wolrds finet black females and we also get 600$ dollarsbefore the end of 06. So although it's not the best place for non redneck hockey loving crakers, it's still alot better then Edmonton, a city with one mall and fucking ugly people thats eriously need to conesied EXTREME MAKEOVER. Oh and it's not better than Toronto, cause they got some fynr niggas up in there, nice clothes and people actually now of it. If you tell soembody that you're from calgary they won't know where it is.
by getoffmyclit June 26, 2006
The stupidest, most boring, cold, shitty city in the world where people say sorry for anything and we also live in igloos.
by the holy grail of baby launche September 30, 2019