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Urban Calamari

Used condoms one finds in parking lots and back alleys.
The used condoms in the puddle behind my favorite strip club looks like urban calamari with an opaque creamy filling.
by Urban Calamari December 21, 2019
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One calamari away from losing it

When you're having such a terrible time that you are one inconvenience away from losing your shit. When you expect onion rings and find out its calamari.
After the shit day I've had I am one calamari away from losing it.
by anonymous October 13, 2020
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Forbidden Calamari

My doctor cut off my forbidden calamari last week and I’m still recovering.
by Chester the mole tester November 13, 2023
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calamari

a new dog breed invented by katie. calamaris enjoy long walks along the beach and romantic dates.
ITS A CALAMARI OMG
by kiiscool123 January 13, 2021
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Reverse calamari

Generous and intriguing , with a touch of spice
by Ben Percey July 7, 2022
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Desert Calamari

Foreskins of circumcised people.

An excised foreskin has a “chewy” texture & ring shape to it. Ironically, in Jewish tradition, circumcision is mandated, however shellfish including squid are prohibited to be eaten as they are unclean. Circumcision has its roots in desert societies including the ancient hebrews, Egyptians & later on in Islam.
And so the mohel cut off his desert calamari!
by ThreeThreeOneThreeThree July 24, 2022
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Calamari Hoopla

The act of flinging sizzling hot Calamari on a gentleman's fully erect penis. If successful, the gentleman should shout Hoopla, Hoopla Hoopla whilst trying to remove the hot Calamari before 2nd degree burns occur. No one wants that of course.
"Would you like to play Calamari Hoopla tonight darling? I have some spare Calamari, I thought it might be fun?"
by Humpabalooshka October 27, 2022
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