mobile blockade

Any variation of car(s), generally two or more, that all move the same damn speed in multiple lanes. Most often one of the drivers of a blockade vehicle is not paying attention and is in the passing lane, thus making it impossible for other cars to pass.

Drivers of said blockades are oblivious to honking/tailgating/light flashing. They have a sixth sense that keeps them at the exact speed of the car(s) next to them regardless of whether the other car attempts to speed up or slow down.

More often than not, annoyed drivers behind you will ride your ass thinking it will magically lift the blockade making for a most unpleasant experience.

Jeremy: dude whatthefuck you driving so slow for? i gotta drop a dookie

Thaddeous: SHUT THE FUCK UP! These commie shitfucks set up a mobile blockade the middle the damn highway. cant drive any faster.

Jeremy: fuck this shit, man

by rikki-bobbi November 4, 2009

Cock Blocked Myself

When you are about to score with someone and you fuck yourself by saying, "I think we should think about this" or "We are rushing into this too fast" Way to go dumbass!

"I cock blocked myself whenever I said that I needed to know her more, now she is fucking my best friend. Lucky bastard."

by Oeltjens January 31, 2010

Headphone Blocked

The result of having a conversation with someone and getting no response. Then turning around and realizing that person had his headphones on this whole time.

Mario: Yo Mike I can't believe you cut this guy from your fantasy basketball team. He's really been lighting it up lately. (Long pause.......Turns around and sees Mike listening to his headphones)

Mario: Fuck!! I just got headphone blocked.

by gottimafia February 4, 2010

Goth Blocked

When seeing a group of one or more goth people prevents you from carrying out your intended activity. Somehow seeing these black clad punks (who usually turn out to be pretty nice people) is enough to deter you from your intended path or destination and so you wander elsewhere to avoid feeling awkward because you are too scared to walk past them, thinking that they might attack you with their shiny pants and throw tubes of black eyeliner at you.

DISCLAIMER: I did not make up "goth blocked" I saw it on a youtube video and thought it would be a worthy addition to Urban Dictionary. Don't sue me!!!! All originality of this phrase I credit to TheRealParis (youtube name). Don't hate me Paris. <3

Dude, I was running a slew of errands and I was going to walk into Target but there were these Goths hanging out right in the entrance so I didn't go in.

I've been Goth Blocked.

by colour January 28, 2010

blocked leak

When you just finished busting a fat nut with the help of your phone and then having to piss right after. The piss does not come out easily thanks to that excess nut leaving you with a blocked leak.

Joey: "Dude!! How long is it taking Brandon to piss!!"

Aaron: " He was probably beating his meat and then started suffering from blocked leak again. It always happens with him."

by iLiterallydonotmisslmaoooo July 21, 2017

cock blocked by oprah

The inability to watch television between the hours of four o'clock until 5 o'clock, because some member of your family must watch Oprah like its some sort of sick addictive gospel (like a cult).

Friend: "Hey dude did you catch last nights episode of The mighty boosh?"
You: " Nope I didn't I was busy getting cock blocked by Oprah"

by Harvey Hand banana June 10, 2011

Baton Rouge Blockade

Sticking a bar of soap up your anus in the shower to prevent leakage.

My ass was leaking so I used the Baton Rouge Blockade to seal off my ass.

by Dunlap12345 June 11, 2009