One Wipe Wonder

A One Wipe Wonder is a sign of good luck to come after plopping out a turd you go to wipe and BOOM! One wipe is all it takes
Person 1: Hey dude how was your shit
Person 2: fucking madness mate it was a one wipe wonder!
Person 2: Ahhh how delightful you lucky boi
by AsthmaBoi February 27, 2019
mugGet the One Wipe Wondermug.

Texas Wet Wipe

Using one’s own sock or socks to wash and wipe the asshole after dropping a horrifically mud butt style shit or accidentally shitting oneself and there is no toilet paper or other tissue.

A Texas wet wipe is used out of absolute necessity and desperation.

The sock or socks are removed and are made thoroughly wet and moist in the sink (if available) and the ass is cleansed accordingly. The socks must always be disposed of or better yet, just left behind on the floor. Never flushed.
After spending the entire day drinking beer and eating hot wings, I headed home. After about a mile, I felt the gut bubblies. Hoping to release some pressure, I unloaded what I thought was a massive fart but ended up shitting my pants. I spotted a gas station on the corner and quickly headed to the shitter. I waddled to the door praying the steamy, oozing, wet lump would not slide any further down my leg. I made it to the stall only to find there was no toilet paper or paper towels. I slipped off both socks knowing a Texas wet wipe was my only alternative. I moistened them in the sink and then I slid the cold, wet socks up and down my ass crack like dental floss cleaning what had to look like the field at a tractor pull and a rooster’s tail when it came out. I got it as clean as I could get it and at least enough to not itch too much before I got home, I tossed my socks in the corner and slipped my boots back on and headed on my way.
by Dick Onchin November 3, 2020
mugGet the Texas Wet Wipemug.

alt-wipe group

A group of people who have broken their dominant hand, so they must now use their alternate hand to wipe themselves on the toilet.
I broke my right hand and can't wipe my ass. So now I am a member of the alt-wipe group
by EvanKnish December 19, 2020
mugGet the alt-wipe groupmug.
When you are trying to poo (shit) but the faeces gets lodged in the opening to the anal cavity, often known as a turtle's head poking out. When you can push no more, but the turtle remains trapped, wiping during this scenario is known as Wiping the Turtle's mouth.
Craig came back from the dunger and informed Jon "That was a tough one Jon, I just ended up wiping the turtle's mouth" Jon understood instantly.
by Broaders September 6, 2019
mugGet the Wiping the Turtle's mouthmug.

Baby Wipe Whore

Those girls who come over for the "rodeo," then clean themselves up with baby wipes and leave immediately after.
Isn't necessarily a bad thing; could also apply to guys.
God, I love baby wipe whores. They just clean up and go home.
I thought she was a relationship girl. I guess she's just a baby wipe whore.
by PG13 August 19, 2013
mugGet the Baby Wipe Whoremug.

Texas Wet Wipe

Using one’s own sock or socks to wash and wipe the asshole after dropping a horrifically mud butt style shit or accidentally shitting oneself and there is no toilet paper or other tissue.

A Texas wet wipe is used out of absolute necessity and desperation.

The sock or socks are removed and are made thoroughly wet and moist in the sink (if available) and the ass is cleansed accordingly. The socks must always be disposed of or better yet, just left behind on the floor. Never flushed.
After spending the entire day drinking beer and eating hot wings, I headed home. After about a mile, I felt the gut bubblies. Hoping to release some pressure, I unloaded what I thought was a massive fart but ended up shitting my pants. I spotted a gas station on the corner and quickly headed to the shitter. I waddled to the door praying the steamy, oozing, wet lump would not slide any further down my leg. I made it to the stall only to find there was no toilet paper or paper towels. I slipped off both socks knowing a Texas wet wipe was my only alternative. I moistened them in the sink and then I slid the cold, wet socks up and down my ass crack like dental floss cleaning what had to look like the field at a tractor pull and a rooster’s tail when it came out. I got it as clean as I could get it and at least enough to not itch too much before I got home, I tossed my socks in the corner and slipped my boots back on and headed on my way.
by Dick Onchin November 3, 2020
mugGet the Texas Wet Wipemug.

wipe the slate clean

To put old grievances aside and start over
guy; Hey buddy lets just wipe the slate clean , it's over.
by Goatscheese November 26, 2015
mugGet the wipe the slate cleanmug.

Share this definition