dick autopilot

When you need your hands for something else while you’re peeing so you let your dick go on it’s own

*peeing*

“Gotta answer this text, guess I’ll activate dick autopilot while I use my phone”

by ShrimpBBQ January 2, 2018

Konkey Dick

When a girl is drunk and sucks your dick then proceeds to throw up on it

Bro you got konkey dicked?! That's nasty!

by Everyoneiscollectivelyafailure December 15, 2017

dick tonsils

tonsils that have been ravaged by a penis after continuous insertion

man that dude gave me some serious dick tonsils after that backdoor blowjob in the back alley

by EdNigma Gene April 5, 2016

dick to the curb

When you're with your girl and her friends and you decide to let her have a girls' night and leave the scene.

You girls look like you're having a good time, let me take my dick to the curb.

by Alliebees January 15, 2018

Rubber Dicked

Originally a military slang term to indicate when a superior starts an apparently friendly conversation only to assign some crappy job duty to you.

It has expanded in general use to indicate anytime someone is nice to with the sole intention of screwing you over. It is particularly appropriate for describing when someone is the victim of a "long con" or when you get burned so dramatically that it leaves no doubt that the person who did it thoroughly planned to do so.

It comes from the idea of a husband who can't (or won't) have sex with his wife turning out the lights and screwing her with a rubber dick in the dark.

Boss: Did you see the playoff last night? Man that was some game!
Peon: Yeah, pretty exciting.
Boss: We're having a few people over tomorrow to watch the final. Do you have any plans?
Peon: No, I was probably just going to go to a sportsbar to catch the game.
Boss: Good, then you won't mind working a double shift.

I really thought Bill was doing me a favor by offering to watch my house while I was on vacation, but he just rubber dicked me because I got back and all my stuff was gone.

by Jack Bard August 26, 2013

A waste of dick

When you have such a large penis it's a waste of dick. No one wants it because it would wreck them.

That's a waste of dick my friend....can i have it when you die

by Dickeyrific32 May 1, 2019

death by dick

When a Woman is successful in whatever she does, then all of a sudden losses it all because she decides to get into a relationship with a man which is the cause of what she lost.

Damn She was the Champion until she hooked up, Death by Dick or She was CEO until she had to step down, Death by Dick.

by Car Wash Man May 2, 2019