Captain Crunch

When drunk people fall down or get messed up in their drunken state.
*drunk person trips over curb and smokes face on parking meter*
Joe - "Wow, that dude just captain crunched!"
by OSO_LOCO January 21, 2021
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Captain Crunch

Highly dangerous statue, capable of extremely fast movement when not being observed. Snaps necks, making a ‘crunch’ sound. Commonly known as SCP-173.
D Class 1: Oh shit, it’s Captain Crunch! Keep your eyes on it!
D Class 2: Blinking!
Captain Crunch snaps D Class 2’s neck.
D Class 2: CRUNCH!
by Natquik May 24, 2020
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Captain Crunch

When a man takes a rather large dump.
Buddy is in there dropping a Captain Crunch
by Dlancelot December 20, 2017
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crunch dessert

A very specific sexual fetish where you cum into the other person's asshole, wait for a while, and then eat the dried up cum.
Brian: Hey, did you hear? I had a crunch dessert from Jessica's butthole!
Matt: What the fuck Brian this is why we don't invite you over anymore
by crinch cronch November 28, 2018
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Crunched

She tripped over her own two feet in public. I know she crunched.
by NOLAUSNA August 13, 2017
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crunched

”you see that boy over there he’s crunched”
by janijaye February 09, 2022
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crunch bump

The two ticks up in volume you do on a tv, computer, or other audio source when you're eating a crunchy food so you can still hear it.
"I was watching The Big Bang Theory and opened a bag of pretzels, so I had to crunch bump the volume."
"I know exactly what you mean! But dude, I didn't know you watched The Big Bang Theory. We can't be friends anymore, sorry."
by shmek October 27, 2017
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