Covid Spiderman

A Covid variation of a sexual spiderman. Where you cannot sexually get close to your partner so you jack off and have to lob your load at least two metres and hope it hits the right person.

Hey Jack, I seen my girlfriend the other day. She was gagging for some cum. But not to break the rules of lockdown I found a secluded bush banged one out and threw the Covid Spiderman as far as Steve Backley. That hit the spot.

by JonnyRotten78 June 13, 2020

Covid-34

When you contract covid-19 and decide to spend time sick beating your meat.

Doc: Sir. You tested positive for Covid-19.
Guy: Well, time do practice Covid-34 *whips out his cock and bust a fat one*

by TurnipPop April 28, 2020

COVID ConcernGram

Avalanche of concern-troll emails from companies looking to cover they asses

George checked his morning email with a cup of coffee in-hand when a sanguinely worded email came in from TripAdvisor warning him to stay safe. "Oh jeez *another* COVID ConcernGram? my in-box can't handle any more of those!"

by Uncle Joosie March 14, 2020

Covid-Catfish

A man or woman who appears attractive until the mask comes off.

I asked this dude out, but he turned out to be a covid-catfish and when his mask came off I just couldn't even...

by GoddM October 11, 2020

Covid Bush

An extra hairy vagina that a woman normally wouldn’t have but grew during the covid pandemic

Hey Luis I smashed my girlfriend for the first time in over a year. I needed a pair of garden shears to get through her covid Bush.

by Critter99 May 31, 2021

Covid Shower

When your woman (or man if incarcerated) is on all fours and you are driving your man plug home without using any virus protection equipment, you have them turn to look at you. When they react to your calling, you shoot your baby butter deep and sneeze in their face effectively giving them your gifts of hot sex and Covid.

"So did you take that girl home last night? Sure did. I gave her a nice Covid Shower."

by JR382 January 14, 2022

Schrödinger's Covid

The waiting time between getting a Covid-19 test and receiving results when you must be in isolation.

Sorry, I can't go out tonight. I have the sniffles so I got a Covid test yesterday and haven't gotten the results yet. It feels like I have Schrödinger's Covid.

by Jen X December 21, 2021