taking a fuck

When you give so few fucks about something, that you actually start to take fucks instead.

Person 1: Do you even give a fuck?
Person 2: I give so few fucks that I'm actually taking a fuck.

by Hurricane Irma November 27, 2017

Onion-take

Where a reader absentmindedly scrolls through their social media or news feed and encounters an article too strange or too sad to be real. The reader then reflexively reverses scroll direction to verify if the article is a piece of satire or authentic news.

Named for a portmanteau of Onion, a satirical news outlet, and the double take.

Alex was prompted to Onion-take while scrolling Facebook, and found themselves horrified to learn that the article about competitive-eater Kobayashi being beaten by Chris Christie was posted by BBC News and not The Onion.

by RealFakeNews April 15, 2020

take mop

seize the means of production.

seize: take
means of production: MoP

worker 1: Wow, our job sucks.
worker 2: Take mop?
worker 1: Hahaha. Yes, comrade.

by Vykrij August 6, 2020

Taking a paugh

The act of taking a dump without using your cell phone as entertainment; thereby expediting the process.

"Hey Richard, are you about done shitting? We gotta go! You better be taking a paugh!"

by WonderBread10 April 12, 2013

Taking a Cruz

To casually depart for greener pastures at a time when those you serve find themselves in greatest need.

CAPTAIN AMERICA: Thanos, Magneto, Doctor Doom, Ultron, the Chitauri and Topher Grace have joined forces and are assaulting Avengers Mansion! We need reinforcements now!

IRON MAN: Wish I could help, but I'm taking a Cruz and jetting off to Cancun now. Best of luck!

by revnorb February 19, 2021

Taking an Abby

Taking an unusually large and time consuming dump.

Friend 1: “man, after eating that Taco Bell I couldn’t help myself. I had to just drop everything and found myself taking an abby.”
Friend 2: “ahh, so that’s where you’ve been the last 35 minutes. Hope the toilets not clogged”

by Aprilfoolsking May 17, 2018

Wake it and take it

The act to awakening ones partner with sexual intercourse without waiting for consent.

I was too fucked up on coke last night so I had to hit her with the wake it and take it.

by Dee34673 April 28, 2021