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Baked H.A.M

I was in complete Baked H.A.M mode when my wife walked in and caught me with porn on the computer.
by NetworkDr June 26, 2019
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Baked muffin

A satisfied vagina.

A pussy that just went through rough sex.

After sex pussy.
I met this girl at the bar last night. She was pretty hot so I sent her home with a baked muffin.

Yeah he was a freak but kind of nasty with it. He ate the baked muffin.
by Crazy charismatic August 7, 2017
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after baked

Waking up after a strong smoke sesh, still baked.
"I'm so after baked right now..."
"I know you were baking on high all night"
by medicine.witch October 26, 2016
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Baked Idiot

A baked idiot is someone who has smoked so much weed that even simple tasks seem impossible, or take too much extra time.
I can't believe he just did that, what a baked idiot.
by plaid.princess.91 May 31, 2015
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Cable bake

Misheard lyrics from the song Balance by MC Quakez at 0.05. Most often misheard when the listener is baked
1: Hey man did you just hear the words 'Cable Bake'?
2: Yeah man in super baked right now
by Harry10932 November 8, 2017
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baked and caked

To get high as fuck and bust a fat nuton someone’s face.
Hey girl want to get high and cummed on”

You mean, baked and caked”
by AyyItsYaBoi August 22, 2019
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Baked sail

Similar to a baked sale, a baked sai is a bake sale in which everyone is high and also is on a boat.
A. Did you hear about the baked sail week?
B. No
A. I was like tripping balls and we donated about 15$ to help fight cancer. And we were on a boat.
B. How much did it cost?
A. About 500$, and the cush was about 1,500$
B. Are you KIDDING ME? WHY THE FUCK DIDN'T YOU JUST DONATE THE MONEY IN THE FIRST PLACE
A. Because then I wouldn't have been able to say it was a baked sail
B. when are you gonna grow up and get a job?
A.You think you're better than me because you got accepted into college?
B. I overheard Clair tell my mom that she wishes I was her son and not you
A. No, you didn't
B. I did too, she said that all you ever do is spend the rest of your dad's life insurance
A. SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU PUSSY!
B. Soon the life insurance money is gonna whare out and your gonna have to face reality
A. At least my girlfriend doesn't sleep with the whole fucking town
B. TAKE THAT BACK
A. she is probably cheating on you right now!
B. Your mom said she wishes it was you instead of Bill
A. I fucked Sally
B. You did not you lying cunt
A. Yeah, here's her texts to me
B. You son of a bitch, ILL KILL YOU BASTERED!
A.where did you, get that knife?
B. DIE YOU JACKASS!
B. Oh no, what have I done? I have just committed a murder. I'm going to prison, My girlfriend, my house, my life, it's gone. Life is not worth living anymore. My girlfriend cheated on me, I killed my best friend, and now I'm going to spend the rest of my life in prison. I cant live like this. *cuts wrist.
by not-a-cult-leader May 4, 2018
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