towel law

The unspoken rule that towels' rights are less than any other person's, excluding towels themselves. Towels are not allowed to:
1. Read
2. Write
3. Vote
4. Drive
5. Leave their designated area
6. Dry anything their masters say not to
7. Disobey a master's orders
8. Smoke, drink, or have other substance-related activity
Towels are subhuman filth.

Thanks to Towel Law, the towel was punished sternly by the whip for attempting to write a book about how to drive, against Amy Schumer's vagina's wishes. It was quickly rolled into a makeshift dildo-tampon and shoved back in. Amy Schumer stopped menstruating a long time ago, so don't worry. It's just super sweaty and gross.

by Niger Tits October 9, 2017

eating towels

Sexual frustration in a steam room due to the hot guy sitting across from you.

He was so hot and the only thing I could do to stop myself from groping him in the steam room was eating towels from the locker room.

by NopeNah October 20, 2017

handmaid's towel

When you leave a giant wet spot on the bed, but you just want to go to sleep you can use a handmaid's towel to soak up the mess. Alternatively, you can put down the handmaid's towel before you fuck to keep your filthy cum off the sheets.

Honey, you blew the stew all over my side of the bed. Can you grab me a handmaid's towel while you are in the bathroom?

by arlingo October 27, 2017

Towel Cereal

(ˈtou(ə)l/ ˈsirēəl) :
The act of eating cereal while in a towel

“He likes to eat towel cereal before gaining the motivation to get clothes”

by LiterallyQueenB May 8, 2018

beaner bath towel

When you use a small Mexican child to dry yourself after a shower or whenever you happen to be wet and a small Mexican child is present.

Jose was a very good beaner bath towel for everyone at the pool party.

by Moist butt hole August 25, 2016

hygenic towel

Placing a towel in a vagina and then having sex with that partner. After sex, you take a shower and then use the towel to dry off.

Me and you grandma got to use the hygenic towel today after work.

by Billy wang August 20, 2016

Towel

An insignificant, waste of space human being that honestly just pisses anyone off. He or she bring absolutely nothing to the table. Not one redeeming quality.

Jessica sucks major wang, I've had a better conversation with a toaster. She's a major towel.

by Itsericahaha August 3, 2016