A vampiric female that can live up to 300 years. This particular breed sucks the life out of a human not by blood, rather by sperm. Despite their age, their aging process is relative to that of humans (i.e. a 200 year old Norwegian Vampire will look like a 60 year old woman). Norwegian Vampires can only birth females, which is why no one has ever seen a male Norwegian Vampire.
When they bite, they don't go for the neck as a traditional vampire does. Instead, she might seduce you into your hotel room or roofie your drink to bring you to her own home, where she gives you the best blow job of your life, undoubtedly due to her centuries of experience. In the midst of the action, she lowers her head and aims for the scrotum, maybe telling you to "relax" as she leans in to massage your testacles with her tongue. Then, in a matter of seconds, you feel an intense pain in your genitals, and you pull back only to realize that her locked fangs are penetrating your scrotum, causing your entire ball sac to tear off from the sudden jerk. She spits both testacles into her hands and inserts them into each nostril, forcefully sucking the sperm dry out of each one with a prolonged breath in order to live another day. As you scream on the floor in pain, she eats the pruned remainder of what were once testes in one gulp, and may also swallow the scrotum as well depending on her taste.
When they bite, they don't go for the neck as a traditional vampire does. Instead, she might seduce you into your hotel room or roofie your drink to bring you to her own home, where she gives you the best blow job of your life, undoubtedly due to her centuries of experience. In the midst of the action, she lowers her head and aims for the scrotum, maybe telling you to "relax" as she leans in to massage your testacles with her tongue. Then, in a matter of seconds, you feel an intense pain in your genitals, and you pull back only to realize that her locked fangs are penetrating your scrotum, causing your entire ball sac to tear off from the sudden jerk. She spits both testacles into her hands and inserts them into each nostril, forcefully sucking the sperm dry out of each one with a prolonged breath in order to live another day. As you scream on the floor in pain, she eats the pruned remainder of what were once testes in one gulp, and may also swallow the scrotum as well depending on her taste.
Johnny: "Wow, Miss Gilbert from across the street is hot. Isn't she single?"
Johnny's friend: "Hey, before you get any ideas, I heard Matt talking about a Norwegian Vampire living nearby before he went missing. They found his neutered body last night in the ditch two blocks down."
Johnny's friend: "Hey, before you get any ideas, I heard Matt talking about a Norwegian Vampire living nearby before he went missing. They found his neutered body last night in the ditch two blocks down."
by Norwegian Vampire Hunter December 10, 2016
Get the norwegian vampire mug.A devious sexual act where a girl tricks a man into having sex with her while she's on her period, then later sucks her own blood off his dick.
Bro, my bitch Dez tricked me into having sex with her while she was spouting blood, then she gave me a Dirty Vampire!
by Iknowsomeonethatdidthis January 12, 2012
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Someone who enjoys drinking his or her own blood, often by deliberately wounding him/herself at the base of the tongue in order to suck at these wounds and swallow the blood. This practice is known as "auto vampirism". See Auto Vampirism.
by MarlfoxSH August 19, 2009
Get the Auto Vampire mug.--reference to the Smashing Pumpkins song "Bullet with Butterfly Wings"
when an event or circumstance reminds you of how stupid/evil/unfair humanity is.
when an event or circumstance reminds you of how stupid/evil/unfair humanity is.
person 1: "I just got a parking ticket for no reason! what the fuck!"
person 2: "man, the world is a vampire!"
person 2: "man, the world is a vampire!"
by tigirah February 21, 2008
Get the the world is a vampire mug.by Bubba Magrew October 10, 2008
Get the Emotional Vampire mug.a person who, during the daytime, is timid and shows little to no sexual desires; however, when night falls and he/she is alone with their interest, they become extremely seductive and sultry.
My man likes to keep our relationship on the DL during the day, but goes wild when we hit the bedroom. He's such a sexual vampire!
by channing potatum September 18, 2015
Get the Sexual Vampire mug.awesome song by the king of his silver wardrobe, misunderstood world of furniture polish and cold velvet, Marilyn Manson. DO NOT FUCKING RELATE IT TO TWILIGHT.
6 AM, christmas morning, no shadows no reflections here, lying cheek to cheek in your cold embrace... LOOK UP If I was Your Vampire by Marilyn Manson on youtube. You won't regret it, I swear.
by THE REAL Grungegirl August 9, 2009
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