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Jesus himself

When an event or person is so godly or amazing that the only way it could be possible is if they are Jesus himself.
Dude that guy over there has picked up every girl all night..........without even talking to them!!!!!!??!!!!

-Jesus himself-

My friend robbed the biggest bank in the world using only a ballpoint pen!!!!

-Jesus himself-
by Zygorff October 20, 2009
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jesus retard

A person raised by bible thumping religious fanatics who is incapable of creating a complete sentence without using the words "jesus", "god", "sinner", "salvation," or "amen."

An unbalanced individual who speaks of jesus in such an intimate manner that it becomes uncomfortable to the point you want to vomit then they show you thier jesus tattoo.

A coworker who feels he is ordained by god to leave religious material in the bathrooms, lunchroom, the bulletin boards and your desk.

The cute girl at work that you at one time you briefly considered joining her church in hopes of banging her but decided it would be too wierd to hear her screaming for jesus while you do her. Whose desk looks like an altar and ends every sentence with the phrase "jesus loves you!"

The creepy neighbor who waits for you too come home every day so they can tell you they spent the day praying for your salvation and that your girlfriend is a wanton slut who sleeps in satan's bed.
Office worker 1: "Who put all the religious crap all over the bathroom?"
Office worker 2: "That's Justin's doing, the creepy guy from the mail room with the jesus tattoo."
Office worker 1: "I should kick his ass!"
Office worker 2: "It would not do any good, he would just ask god to forgive you, he's a jesus retard."
by jsd9632 October 20, 2012
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hobo jesus

A poor person that resembles Jesus. PL (Hobo Jesi)
"Do you think that hobo jesus could cure my leprecy?"
by danny langston September 21, 2007
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Jesus Swag

Not only clothing yourself in textiles that represent your faith, but clothing yourself in righteousness; walking in the footpaths of Jesus Christ on a daily basis.
by The Great I Am November 16, 2011
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Bong Hits for Jesus

Bong Hits for Jesus is an Philly based original rock band. Using the name that Joe Frederick made famous in his landmark Supreme Court free speech fight, Bong Hits For Jesus is all about peoples' First Amendment rights, artistic freedom, and the tendency to enjoy life's fruits.
You can learn everything you need to know about Bong Hits for Jesus at www.bonghitsforjesus.net
by Mix Master Obi-Wan July 15, 2009
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Paw Paw For Jesus

Non sequitir exclamation denoting derision or ridicule of someone or something. From author Cheryl Trykv's reading of her story on radio show This American Life, in which the main character sees a billboard proclaiming "Paw Paw For Jesus" and starts to yell it out the car window in sarcastic ecstasy. Paw Paw is a town in Michigan.
You see Sarah Palin on TV talking about death panels, so you yell "Paw Paw For Jesus!"
by mrbgoode September 4, 2009
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jesus blunt

a jesus blunt is two blunts that are conected in the middle so they look like a cross. When you smoke it you light three of the ends and puff on the fouth.
that jesus blunt got me fucked up with one hit!
by superfrank December 15, 2008
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