A severe, temporarily debilitating bowel condition which can have dire consequences for any and all parties involved.
E.D. is usually caused by the consumption of excessively spicy or rich foods and, often,
alcohol. Symptoms include:
1. Unexpected and odd-sounding bowel movements
2. The feeling of immediate urgency to find a
toilet
3. The passing of large amounts of liquid faeces, usually accompanied by large amounts of
gas.
E.D. is often a worrying experience. On release of the pent-up
gas, the contents of the rectum are projected with speed out of the anus and into the
toilet pan. The force of this release is often remarkable, and large amounts of liquid faeces can be sprayed over a surprising area of porcelain.
Needless to say, E.D. is not a condition which is convenient to develop when you are A)
camping, or B) in someone else's restaurant, or C) in a public lavatory.
There is no known remedy for the symptoms of E.D., except to avoid eating spicy
food in the first place.
1. Last night's
curry gave me the worst explosive diarrhea... The
toilet was a right mess.
2. I had E.D. in a public
toilet once... the janitor called the bomb squad
