stupor-computer 

A painfully slow computer and/or internet connection incapable of performing more than one task at a time but capable of inducing a catatonic state in the user.

I fell asleep waiting for my goddam stupor-computer to load an effing wikipedia article.

stupor-computer by Mattemo March 16, 2009

meat computer 

A way to describe your brain

I'm a bit slow today, I need to reboot the old meat computer

meat computer by Youngmadhatter March 2, 2021

National computer virus day 

today is the one day a year that it’s absolutely needed for you to get a computer virus on your computer

November 19 is National Computer virus day! it’s my favorite day because I get an excuse to put horrible virus on my computer and I can’t get in trouble with my mom!

National computer virus day by Lemveon November 19, 2021

my computer is acting retarded 

An excuse to get off of AIM or any instant messaging service when you don't want to talk to someone. Very effective, because everyone's computer acts retarded sometimes.

Jane: You know Amy, I'm so glad I can talk to you. You're the only person who really understands my relationship problems with Mike.

Amy: Yeah. My computer is acting retarded so don't be surprised if I suddenly log off AIM.

my computer is acting retarded by I hate boring chats March 17, 2009

Help Computer 

A phrase said when a robot-computer-android man needs assistance.

I don't know much about computers other than the one I got in my house and my mom put a couple games on it...
*Computer garble*

Help Computer by Gamblor October 23, 2004

Windows Computer 

A piece of technology that is used to surf the web, play games, or, as most commonly used, to look up porn. It works for it's purpose, but you know that it's not the best. You use it, but only because you have to, and are too afraid to put in the time and money of getting a real computer that doesn't shit itself and die every time you look at it too hard.

It's lot like a bad prostitute.

Dude 1: Hey man, so hows your Windows Computer doing?
Dude 2: Not so good. I mean, it works, but every time I'm using it I always scream out "MACINTOSH!" by mistake.

Windows Computer by TheVampireKow October 18, 2009

my computer 

What I spend all my free time watching Netflix on.

I love my computer.

my computer by the only smart person December 20, 2017