soggy paper towel

An acceptable insult for the type of person to tea-bag after every kill, then rage quit the first time they die.

Man that last bastard we killed was a real soggy paper towel.

by Muuur dar June 9, 2019

Towel in the Hood

The practice of padding out the inside of a condom with wads of toilet paper or Kleenex because the woman's vaj is so stretched out you need a lot of bulk just to touch the sides.

You meeting up with her for secret lunch? Make sure you do the towel in the hood or she’s not going to feel a thing!

by thatsalotofdogs April 4, 2019

Need a towel

So excited you get wet and need a towel to clean up

Patient: Doc how was my procedure?
Doc: it went so well good that I need a towel!

by TushT June 8, 2018

Towel scrubbing

The act of using half a hollowed out cucumber as a dick sheath and the other half as an anal dildo while motioning as if drying your taint with a towel.

All this towel scrubbing has used up all my cucumbers

by Cucumber sheath June 11, 2018

masters towel

When you need to go #2 at Twin Lakes and resort to desperate measures. Keeping said towel in your bag while covering the odor with Febreze adds to the party.

Man, I had to pull out the masters towel on #7. I didn't even wash it.

by CWG0822 May 9, 2017

buying towels at ross

a code word only cool people can use for saying they are taking a shit

Valerie - I’m currently buying towels at ross
Carolina - same ;)

by señor spermies September 22, 2017

towel law

The unspoken rule that towels' rights are less than any other person's, excluding towels themselves. Towels are not allowed to:
1. Read
2. Write
3. Vote
4. Drive
5. Leave their designated area
6. Dry anything their masters say not to
7. Disobey a master's orders
8. Smoke, drink, or have other substance-related activity
Towels are subhuman filth.

Thanks to Towel Law, the towel was punished sternly by the whip for attempting to write a book about how to drive, against Amy Schumer's vagina's wishes. It was quickly rolled into a makeshift dildo-tampon and shoved back in. Amy Schumer stopped menstruating a long time ago, so don't worry. It's just super sweaty and gross.

by Niger Tits October 9, 2017