towel law

The unspoken rule that towels' rights are less than any other person's, excluding towels themselves. Towels are not allowed to:
1. Read
2. Write
3. Vote
4. Drive
5. Leave their designated area
6. Dry anything their masters say not to
7. Disobey a master's orders
8. Smoke, drink, or have other substance-related activity
Towels are subhuman filth.

Thanks to Towel Law, the towel was punished sternly by the whip for attempting to write a book about how to drive, against Amy Schumer's vagina's wishes. It was quickly rolled into a makeshift dildo-tampon and shoved back in. Amy Schumer stopped menstruating a long time ago, so don't worry. It's just super sweaty and gross.

by Niger Tits October 09, 2017

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scuzz towel

The special towel designated to be used during sex to protect the bedsheets from any scuzzy residue coming out of the participating parties.

“Yeah she squirted everywhere but my sheets were safe cause she was on my scuzz towel”

by Theyoungwolf98 April 26, 2022

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soggy towel

A Debbie Downer who is a total damper on the party. Frequently used by hip kids under 33 that are "with it".

That guy at the after party is such a soggy towel, he should just go home and walk his dog.

by SnoopSoggySogs April 27, 2014

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embracing-towel

A large clean towel that you carry with you while strolling the beach, and then drape around the shoulders of any cute chicks whom you meet prior to giving them a hug, so that you don't hafta endure any disgusting yucky-sticky skin-to-skin contact with sweaty/oily arms, necks, chests, backs, and shoulders during said embraces.

I find that bathing beauties are much more willing to give me a hug when I bring along an embracing-towel; I even occasionally receive a warm-hearted compliment from da chick for my being "such a perfect gentleman" to think considerately of her like that.

by QuacksO December 02, 2018

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