ass hag

a very bitchy and annoying old man or woman

Old lady: You guys dress so demonic! See back in my-
Jaxx: Shut up, you ass hag.

by finnisstupid December 20, 2023

Squad Hag

One individual, one of many in a group of those skanks who yander together in groups and wear press on’s (yes...yandering.) Those trashed yucky girls who likely all have the Arby’s syndrome and one who no lesbian would ever take home.

“Hey fellow lesbo, That squad hag won’t stop trying to introduce herself to me and I can legitimately see she is ripe for Thanksgiving. Let’s gtfoh before she loses a press on.”

by Brrezie March 18, 2021

cupboard hag

A crotchety old bag of bones that lurks around one's home without the knowledge of the residents

the cupboard hag sat in the musty attic combing her thinning hair and trolling people on the internet

by Cupboardhag November 14, 2015

Hag Lobster

the dirty rotten bastards who order the most expensive thing on the menu, and then won't help pay the bill

Man, my mother-in-law is a Hag Lobster. She ordered the Lobster Feast and then stiffed me with the bill.

by wordqueens3 March 18, 2011

Bessie Hag

A very ugly/weird or just downright bad southern girl

"Hey, what do you think about that girl over there?"

"No way man, shes such a Bessie Hag"

by Tree_Masta June 20, 2020

Piss hag

A frightful looking woman. Like a crack whore, except she’s an alcoholic.

Should we go get some booze you piss hag

by Swizzle d October 14, 2023

Gag Hag

A gay man who attaches himself to emotionally unavailable men—often straight, closeted, partnered, or just disinterested—while secretly longing for love, sex, or approval.

He gets close to their girlfriends, mothers, even wives to gain access. He offers loyalty, affection, and emotional labor in exchange for crumbs. Disarming, devoted, and low-key strategic, the Gag Hag plays both sides—never quite chosen, but always nearby.

Beneath the devotion lies a deeper script: a quiet competition with the mother for Daddy’s love—only now, he gets close to her to get closer to him.

Underneath it all?
A deep hunger for Daddy’s love.
And a silent hope that one day… he’ll be chosen.

“I felt like a total Gag Hag as I helped him slip on the shirt I had just ironed—for his date with her.”

“I introduced them… and somehow I ended up adjusting her veil before she walked down the aisle—to marry him. Gag Hag.”

by Brobituary August 6, 2025