corporate apology

An apology so bland that it makes you want to throw up. Almost always given by multi million dollar

conglomerates, hence the name.

Conglomerate: We would like to apologise for our actions. (insert corporate apology here)

by buddy retard September 15, 2020

Corporate Slavery

Modern day slavery in the workforce is corporate slavery is the mistreatment of employees by paying low wages and no health care. Typically you have a toxic manager that focuses on what you do wrong, which is minimal, but focusing on what you do well and does realize that you have a life outside of work. Often there is a point system for attendance, for instance getting one point for calling sick. You can only earn a certain of points if you call off for work, but you could be a single mother with sick children. Corporate Slavery has risen dramatically due to the decline of unions and "The Right to Work"

Me: Kathy just called in sick for today because when she woke up, her fiancee next to her in bed had died in bed.

Krystal: Can you believe Sheri's response to Kathy was that since it was unplanned absence she would earn a point. Then the boss told her she wouldn't paid for her bereavement time, because he was just a fiancee - not yet a husband.

Me: So wait - are telling me that Kathy won't received the paid bereavement because he was "just" a fiancee. I can't believe Sheri would even mention points. Like Kathy gives a shit right now.

Krystal: This is corporate slavery. Remember when the computers were non-functional and we had to show up to this damn cube farm all three days and just at a non-working computer.

Me: That was horribly boring! Right right this is just a form of modern day slavery. I hate it here, when do I get to time off during the day to be able to interview. It is almost impossible to get your time off approved.

by Siouxsie Supertramp October 12, 2020

Have you ever been of a corporals course

It what all stuck up corporals say to the ranks below them.

Person 1: My room is so messy, but it isn't a promotion course so I don't care
The Corporal: Have you ever been of a corporals course, because on corporals course you have to always have a clean room and you have to do it in 5 minutes.

by The victim of a corporal October 16, 2017

corporal carpet

Someone who decides to randomly get a bowl-cut and dye their hair black for absolutely no reason

Pretty sure Daniel just corporal carpeted his hair last night

by duemoturion June 10, 2017

Corporate Hitchhiking

corporate Hitchhiking is a term for going job to job, temp job to temp job with hope for all this jumping to add up to a solid high paying job/ career. All this time counting on your resume with its stunning large set of skills and items that are usually useless. You may feel its impressive having 3 to 8 pages of info but to any possible employer its shows you cant hold a job down

Jake: do you believe you can win a job with that 6 page resume.

Joe: darn tooting.
jake: but all youve been doing is jumping from management job to management job, from sinking ship to sinking ship.
joe: its only a little Corporate hitchhiking . just look at my entire skill list and my impressive job list

by Theamazinggeek June 27, 2017

noodlin in the corporate pond

To catfish a coworker. As explained in "The Slippery Fist finds It's Way In" Magazine, March 1984 Issue.

Seamus created a fake Tinder account so he could uncover Nancy's secret fetishes, thus he be noodlin in the corporate pond.

by batht March 17, 2018

corporate nice

Work in a corporate setting everyone has to be nice, when really can’t stand someone. If an issue comes up, people are nice about it, but will get angry and complain to a supervisor. Demanding a request using nice words. Like Minnesota or Texas nice, but in a corporation.

I thought he was fine when I told him a conference room was not available. He complained to my supervisor. He was being corporate-nice.

If you could work on Saturday, that would be great. Demanding to work on Saturday or will be consequences. Supervisor was being corporate nice.

by surfangel May 13, 2018