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The Seinfeld Chronicles

The Seinfeld Chronicles is the pilot episode of the NBC series, Seinfeld. It originally aired on July 5, 1989. The original title of the episode was Good News, Bad News however it has been confirmed by the creators that the title of the pilot is The Seinfeld Chronicles.

It was rebroadcast in 1990 after the show had been picked up as a series.

The episode was written by creators, Larry David & Jerry Seinfeld and was directed by Art Wolff.

Plot
Spoiler warning: Plot and/or ending details follow.
Jerry Seinfeld and George Costanza are seated at Pete's Luncheonette debating over a shirt button. The waitress, Claire, comes over to their table and pours each a cup of coffee. George tells Claire he does not want caffeine in his coffee and Jerry corrects him by telling George she is an expert waitress. The two continue to talk and finally leave when Jerry has to do laundry.

The following evening while watching a late Mets game, he receives a phone call from a potential girlfriend, Laura, whom he met on the road. She asks if she can stay over his apartment since she cannot find a "decent hotel" (a fact George contests). Jerry invites her but is unsure if her visit is intended to be romantic or not. George and Jerry continue to debate fine details in Laura's conversation with Jerry to determine the true nature of the visit. A character known in the pilot as "Kessler," (who in all future episodes is known as Kramer) joins in asking Jerry why he would even give her a choice about where to sleep by bringing in another bed. The episode gives viewers a quick glimpse at George's profession (real estate) and also Kramer's (questionable get rich quick schemes).

At the airport, George and Jerry continue to talk in an effort to identify the possible signals Laura might give upon her arrival. Laura arrives and takes Jerry (and George) by surprise. The two arrive at Jerry's apartment and he feels uncomfortable with the situation. Laura removes some excess clothing to get comfortable and asks for wine. Jerry believes he has gotten to the bottom of the whole question. His plans are abruptly interrupted when he learns Laura has a fiancé. Jerry realizes he has no chance with Laura but has already committed himself — and his studio apartment — to an entire weekend with her.

Note
The episode does not feature the character of Elaine Benes. Her character was introduced as a result of constructive criticism based on this episode.
Lee Garlington, who played Claire (the waitress at Pete's) in the pilot, although credited as a regular, was not asked to appear in the series and is only featured in this episode.
The restaurant Jerry and George are eating lunch at is known as Pete's Luncheonette in this episode. It will later be known as the well-known Monk's Cafe for the remainder of the series.
The Seinfeld Chronicles (TV Pilot)
AKA: Good News, Bad News
July 5 1989
Jerry Seinfeld
NBC
by P.redeckis June 11, 2006
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Chronicles Of Rajendran

The mythical, fantastical, and mysterious chronicles surrounded by lore that rivals the Kingdom of Gandalf. It is said the chronicles are merely a myth, but few men have claimed to read its pages.
Me- Hey, have you see those chronicles of rajendran
Rohit- shut the fuck up
by Anthony McKinsey January 28, 2022
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chronically white

a phrase coined to refer to a dumb or stupid white person; someone who is painfully white.
"hey did you see @seth.shyrock on tiktoks new video?"

"yeah he's chronically white"
by chamolemon February 20, 2022
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Chroniscope

An instrument used in measuring the amount of naturally occurring and/or synthetically created THC an object contains.

It measures both surface area content, and net THC percentage.

It displays this information as a ratio of
synthetic or organic THC to non-THC matter.
A general analysis of Hash from a Chroniscope would maybe find

98% surface area value of THC molecules
and say a 70% net THC content; the other 30% consisting of foreign matter like hair, dust particles, dead skin cells, plant matter etc...
by asdfgs March 9, 2009
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Chronoceebs

Sometimes Ceebs alone does not define just how little we give a fuck, or just how little we care/how little effort we have. Therefore, anyone who is suffering from a very acute case of ceebs may be a sufferer of chronoceebs (or Chronic Ceebs). In turn, this can be abbreviated to the chrono's. Many of us can relate to this feeling on a Monday morning in work.
I'm suffering with a severe case of Chronoceebs.

or

Geoff is suffering with some serious Chrono's today.
by synaesthesian July 10, 2011
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chronocentrism

Chronocentrism is the belief that, of all the billions of years of history, the times you live in are the culmination of the workings of the Universe.
(i) On March 26 1997 39 members of the Heaven's Gate religious group committed mass suicide in order to live on a spaceship which was following comet Hale-Bopp, and escape the Earth before it was recycled.

Showing Chronocentrism can have tragic consequences

(ii) "The End of History" by Francis Fukuyama

Showing Chronocentric ideas, barely credibly, are taken very seriously by mainstream politics and economics.
by Ann Kittenplan September 13, 2011
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Chronchy

Something that is crunchy but not a good that normally is. Ex: a soft food goes stale and now is crunchy
I left my cotton candy out now it is chronchy.
by Moobloom223 October 19, 2020
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