cheese-eating surrender monkey

n. -- a citizen of France (SYN. see spineless)

The term derives from the French military history, especially in reference to their lack of vitories.

"It's not his fault. He's a cheese-eating surrender monkey."

by DamnProudAmerican May 19, 2004

smack my church monkey

The process of destroying a persons day or life, or it can literally be taken as "smacking a monkey that is employed by the Magisterium." Thirdly it can be taken as direct interjection of religion into a persons life.

Origins: the 2007 theatrical version of The Golden Compass, Where Nicole Kiddman lays the smackdown on a poor defenseless primate.

"Why are you always trying to smack my church monkey?"
"I shouldn't have done that, it feels like I just got smacked by a church monkey."

by JaKeJa January 3, 2008

Spider Monkey Reach around

The phrase actually comes from an episode of Family Guy where Peter and his pals are playing the drinking game 'I never..' where each person says something like 'I never slept with Joe's wife' and each person that has done has to take a drink of whatever they are using with the game. In this episode the table is full of dozens of bottles of beer and Quagmire is noticeably hammered when struggling for any more things that Quagmire may not have done, Peter states 'I never gave a Reacharound to a Spider Monkey whilst reciting the pledge of Allegiance' and Quagmire says 'Oh come on....?' and takes another drink of his beer before collapsing on the table knocking off the bottles! That's the correct and original use of the term Reacharound or Reach Around in modern culture which is why I added this as Shortanks definition whilst it works is not the one most people will be thinking of or need reminding of by searching for it! That's how I ended up here! Search for Spider Monkey Reacharound on YouTube for exact scene!

I never gave a Spider Monkey Reach around around whilst reciting the pledge of Allegiance

by UnitedsRedArmy January 21, 2017

Cisco Certified Trained Monkey

The Cisco Certified Trained Monkey, or CCTM, is not a technical certification offered by Cisco Systems.

This is a Cisco Certified Internetworking Expert (CCIE) who designs statically routed networks.

A bunch of Cisco certified trained monkeys have ruined my network.

by kootiger June 16, 2017

Froze the balls of a brass monkey

This phrase is often used when it's bloody cold.

The origin of this phrase stems from the early explorers when traveling at sea in the icey cold. A brass monkey was used to hold the cannon balls in a pyramid shape, when it became freezing cold the holder ( brass monkey)would contract and the cannon balls would fall off.

This morning I went outside to take the bins out front, it was that cold it would of froze the balls of a brass monkey .

by Shaggenshano July 12, 2017

anal dwelling butt monkey

A monkey that lives in someone's hind quarters. it is usually painful when they enter and exit their home, if you are their chosen nesting spot. Such behavior of monkies can be found on the film Bruce Almighty.

1. guy: Holy freak, that monkey came out of his crack!
other guy: yeah, that's an anal dwelling butt monkey.

by Jump4h July 15, 2008

the man who fucked the monkey

The man who fucked the monkey which gave us aids. Someone who represents the pinnacle of human crapulence. A term reserved for the most joyless wastes of protoplasm that shit all over the earth, sell us the bucket and order us to clean it up.

So Mr Cameron, we have chronic inner city decay, one million children being brought up in abusive homes and young men coming back from Afghanistan in bits. What do you plan to do about it?

Tax cuts for the rich.

You are the man who fucked the monkey which gave us aids

by DocFlox March 22, 2010