The ghost of Boston’s forgotten founder, executed in 1631 for “witchcraft” after peacefully communicating with local Native tribes. Hanged in what’s now the Boston Common children’s park, John Boston returns every July 6th, the day he died.
Each year, he rises at midnight, hunting for the smelliest children under 15 to “rebuild the city he was denied.” Legend says the stinkier the kid, the more likely they are to vanish.
The city closes the park every July 6th to contain him — but when the gates are locked, he takes to the streets.
Each year, he rises at midnight, hunting for the smelliest children under 15 to “rebuild the city he was denied.” Legend says the stinkier the kid, the more likely they are to vanish.
The city closes the park every July 6th to contain him — but when the gates are locked, he takes to the streets.
Friend 1: “Hey, wanna hang out tomorrow?”
Friend 2: “Hell no, it’s John Boston’s day, and I haven’t showered. I ain’t tryna vanish into the trees, bro.”
Friend 2: “Hell no, it’s John Boston’s day, and I haven’t showered. I ain’t tryna vanish into the trees, bro.”
by Wsgg July 5, 2025
Get the John Bostonmug. The inventor of the headache. Created when John Headache tried to think too hard in 1882. We hate this guy and his cursed invention.
Remember people, we were supposed to live a world free from thought. Thinking only makes brain sad and hurty.
Remember people, we were supposed to live a world free from thought. Thinking only makes brain sad and hurty.
"my head hurts wtf"
"You are likely experiencing a headache. These grievances were created by one John Headache. You have him and only him to blame. Stop thinking immediately to reduce harm."
"You are likely experiencing a headache. These grievances were created by one John Headache. You have him and only him to blame. Stop thinking immediately to reduce harm."
by TheRatEmpire November 8, 2023
Get the John Headachemug. 1. A man who is often stubborn, dumb, aggravating, unforgiving, forgetful, and just overall a complete dumbass.
2. A set of words used as an insult towards people. It can be rude or funny to some.
2. A set of words used as an insult towards people. It can be rude or funny to some.
1. "John Admin was paid yesterday. He asked me today where his money was at. He even had a picture of me paying him his $10."
2. "Don't be a John Admin. I thought you were told better!"
2. "Don't be a John Admin. I thought you were told better!"
by -Wolfie- July 4, 2018
Get the John Adminmug. by Qwertykg March 24, 2019
Get the Johnmug. by 4bigguysandtheybustonmyeyes November 24, 2021
Get the John Dangermug. by 1153011 March 20, 2019
Get the Johns Diseasemug. 1) man I was bouta fight this niqqa but then he pulled a john
2) this niqqa talked shit from across the hall then got up and walked away man that niqqa pulled a john
2) this niqqa talked shit from across the hall then got up and walked away man that niqqa pulled a john
by tig310 May 21, 2014
Get the Pulled a johnmug.