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Meatball Surprise

When you do a girl slowly from behind, in the anus or vagina, in and out, in and out, in and out, and then you slam your fist up her anus while screaming "Meatball Surprise!"
"I thought my love with Denise was forever, until I gave her the Meatball Surprise"
by Lettuce Inn June 2, 2009
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Chinese Log Smash Surprise

When one finally drops a quality hot and steamy log that hangs from ass to toilet water after extreme constipation and does not realize that it has not detached from the anal cavity, causing him/her to proceed with the wiping process, and violently "smash" through the log. It is called a "surprise" because the victim usually responds with "HOLY SHIT!" or "MY BUNG HOLE!" or "DOUBLE YOU TEE EFF!"
1. "I was walking past the bathroom while my brother was taking a shit and I heard the beginning poot but did not here the ending splash that usually follows. I realized what was happening and immediately yelled 'DICK, WAIT!....but it was too late..he had experienced his first Chinese Log Smash Surprise."

2. "After 3 weeks of being constipated I had taken my glory dump, not knowing that the magnificent log had not detached. As I went to wipe (from front to back) I had my 5th Chinese Log Smash Surprise this month!"

3. "After his Chinese Log Smash Surprise, Jim's hand never recovered..."
by Dr. Wack Meehoff October 14, 2011
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Smurphy's Law

A child-centred variant of Murphy's Law. Smurphy's Law posits that no plan or act can unfold properly in the presence of children. (Note: first defined by the Canadian artist Paul Walde.) Also called Smurfy's Law.
Example 1: A small, toilet-trained child will only wet themselves when it is imperative to get out the door Right Away.

Example 2: "We have planned this weekend away for one year, and now little Paolo is sick." "But Paolo never gets sick!" "He did this time. Whattareyagonnado? It's Smurphy's Law."
by seeker6079 December 28, 2005
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Emeril Surprise

Your playing just the tip and BAM! You ram it in her
Last Night Mike made laura cry by giving her the emeril surprise
by Mike and Shane October 12, 2006
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Southside Surprise

After taking a dump you realize that you need a deeper cleaning than normal. You layer up the tissue, insert it in to your anus, and push gainfully as to ensure adequate penetration depth. Unfortunately you pushed a little too hard and that cheap toilet paper that they stock in the bathrooms at the office is not capable of withstanding the finger pressure.

Your reaction time is not nearly quick enough. Your eager finger slips right through the gaping tissue hole in to your anus which you have purposely relaxed so as to allow for proper penetration. Your anus is not so relaxed any more and you instinctively tighten the muscles, producing a firm, albeit temporary hold on your finger.

You then hastily yank your finger out of your rectum causing slight discomfort as the small, twisted pieces of cheap tissue have caused immediate, itchy irritation due to their scrubbing your anal wall.

You muster the will to look at your finger. There is no time to become curious as to whether or not it will smell because you realize quickly that it does, partly because you wafted your finger to the frontal area where your senses are most responsive and partly because fresh, moist, shit that is not submerged in water creates a powerful odor indeed.

Finally, you require several rotations of hand-washing with soap to completely rid of the stench that has penetrated the oils contained on your finger.

This my friends is the Southside Surprise.
AGAIN? I thought they upgraded the toilet paper! Southside Surprise strikes again.
by slammerzee June 16, 2009
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Hiroshima Surprise

When performing a sexual act involving defecation, said defecator experiences extreme diarrhea resulting in an explosive surprise for the fecal recipient.
Bruce: Hey Lance, wanna try a glass bottom boat?!
Lance: No brah, last time we did that you gave me a Hiroshima surprise...
by ryo101 July 27, 2009
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Salty surprise

When your at a restaurant you ask for a salty surprise and the cook soon cums in your mouth
by MC spunky January 1, 2019
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