10 definitions by seeker6079
"Please Fuck Off Letter" - (pronounced "pee-fall") - A very politely worded rejection letter. It can be used in any context where one's application (for employment, to be published, etc.) is rejected. Such letters can also, through their precise politeness or use of wording, imply not only that you are rejected, but that you deserve to be rejected because you do not, in their opinion, measure up to their self-perceived standards.
Q: "Did the firm of Booth, Cream & Crippen accept your application to be a summer student?"
A: "Nah, I just got the PFOL today."
A: "Nah, I just got the PFOL today."
by seeker6079 September 21, 2005
Type One Issue: That component of a your character that is screwed up due to a previous relationship.
Type Two Issue: That component of a your character which will be screwed up due to your current relationship.
Type Three Issue: What your current boyfriend or girlfriend has when your Type One Issue gets in the way of their attempts to give you a Type Two Issue.
Type Two Issue: That component of a your character which will be screwed up due to your current relationship.
Type Three Issue: What your current boyfriend or girlfriend has when your Type One Issue gets in the way of their attempts to give you a Type Two Issue.
Example: Any furious domestic argument; see your own life for examples. You probably have issues about it.
by seeker6079 January 21, 2006
Euphemism used in human dynamics, including but not limited to romances, workplaces and general social discourse.
It is used by X, who is miffed at Y’s refusal to be manipulated by X or act in a way that X wishes them to. X is socially precluded from saying, “Damn! Y won’t bend to my will, which is the only thing that matters! Me! ME! MEEEEEE!!!!! Curses!”, and so, rather, quietly responds with the back of the verbal hand, slyly denigrating Y as having “issues”. The “issue”, of course, is that Y has enough character or determination not to dance like a monkey to X’s tune. The term is non-gender specific, as both men and women are likely to use it in some form or another.
It is used by X, who is miffed at Y’s refusal to be manipulated by X or act in a way that X wishes them to. X is socially precluded from saying, “Damn! Y won’t bend to my will, which is the only thing that matters! Me! ME! MEEEEEE!!!!! Curses!”, and so, rather, quietly responds with the back of the verbal hand, slyly denigrating Y as having “issues”. The “issue”, of course, is that Y has enough character or determination not to dance like a monkey to X’s tune. The term is non-gender specific, as both men and women are likely to use it in some form or another.
Example 1: John Doe has tried to inveigle Jane Moe into bed. She says no. Thwarted, John Doe sneers that, “well, you know, Jane Moe has Issues regarding strong men”, pejoratively implying lesbian tendencies . Reality: John Doe is an irritating, self-satisfied blowhard and well worth avoiding.
Example 2: Jane Fictional has tried to alter the conduct of her boyfriend, John Examplefellow. He refuses to make changes that are, in her view, necessary to improve the relationship; he has reasons for doing so, based on his experience(s) and/or view(s), and presents them. Jane will complain to her friends that John “can’t move forward because he has Issues”. Reality: she is nettled that she is unable to “fix the rules” of the relationship, and ascribes this not to controlling tendencies on her part but to nonexistent problems on his.
Translation Assistance. When one hears the phrase “(s)he has issues…”, mentally edit the phrase to read “(s)he won’t do what I want” and see if that more accurately describes the real outlook of the speaker. If it does, you have identified and isolated the Euphemism, and can run for shelter at your best speed.
Example 2: Jane Fictional has tried to alter the conduct of her boyfriend, John Examplefellow. He refuses to make changes that are, in her view, necessary to improve the relationship; he has reasons for doing so, based on his experience(s) and/or view(s), and presents them. Jane will complain to her friends that John “can’t move forward because he has Issues”. Reality: she is nettled that she is unable to “fix the rules” of the relationship, and ascribes this not to controlling tendencies on her part but to nonexistent problems on his.
Translation Assistance. When one hears the phrase “(s)he has issues…”, mentally edit the phrase to read “(s)he won’t do what I want” and see if that more accurately describes the real outlook of the speaker. If it does, you have identified and isolated the Euphemism, and can run for shelter at your best speed.
by seeker6079 October 26, 2005
In human males, the intellectual or emotional stabbing pain created by the seemingly irreconcilable contradictions in human female statements, behaviour, responses or expectations. Paradox cramps are usually but not exclusively experienced in heterosexual romantic relationship interdynamics.
Human Female: “Of course I wanted to talk to you. That’s why you shouldn’t have called me.” or “Yes, I know I told you to do it, and you did it right away. That’s why I am angry at you.”
Human male: “Understood. Apropos of nothing at all, where do you keep your Tylenol 3s / bourbon?”
Scientist: "Thus we see a paradox cramp, inducing standard response behaviour."
Human male: “Understood. Apropos of nothing at all, where do you keep your Tylenol 3s / bourbon?”
Scientist: "Thus we see a paradox cramp, inducing standard response behaviour."
by seeker6079 September 16, 2005
A child-centred variant of Murphy's Law. Smurphy's Law posits that no plan or act can unfold properly in the presence of children. (Note: first defined by the Canadian artist Paul Walde.) Also called Smurfy's Law.
Example 1: A small, toilet-trained child will only wet themselves when it is imperative to get out the door Right Away.
Example 2: "We have planned this weekend away for one year, and now little Paolo is sick." "But Paolo never gets sick!" "He did this time. Whattareyagonnado? It's Smurphy's Law."
Example 2: "We have planned this weekend away for one year, and now little Paolo is sick." "But Paolo never gets sick!" "He did this time. Whattareyagonnado? It's Smurphy's Law."
by seeker6079 November 9, 2005
Descriptive Noun. Second part of a four-part sequence which explains all types of individuals.
An OPTIMIST is a person who doesn't have all the facts.
A PESSIMIST is an optimist who does have all the facts.
A CYNIC is a pessimist who has seen the facts in action.
A PARANOID is a cynic who has FINALLY realized that the facts are after him.
An OPTIMIST is a person who doesn't have all the facts.
A PESSIMIST is an optimist who does have all the facts.
A CYNIC is a pessimist who has seen the facts in action.
A PARANOID is a cynic who has FINALLY realized that the facts are after him.
Janey the Pessimist says, "I'm pretty sure that the gunmakers won't have to worry about liability, because they have bought enough public figures to ensure that it is so."
by seeker6079 October 26, 2005
Descriptive Noun. First part of a four-part sequence which explains all types of individuals.
An OPTIMIST is a person who doesn't have all the facts.
A PESSIMIST is an optimist who does have all the facts.
A CYNIC is a pessimist who has seen the facts in action.
A PARANOID is a cynic who has FINALLY realized that the facts are after him.
An OPTIMIST is a person who doesn't have all the facts.
A PESSIMIST is an optimist who does have all the facts.
A CYNIC is a pessimist who has seen the facts in action.
A PARANOID is a cynic who has FINALLY realized that the facts are after him.
Johnny the Optimist says, "Gosh, I'm sure that the Congress will make laws for the benefit of the public rather than those wealthy enough to buy a congressman or senator and slap a bar code on their back! After all, this is a Democracy." (Exits, stage right, humming "America The Beautiful, badly off key.)
by seeker6079 October 26, 2005