Missouri mattress

When you (Jack-off) on your brown recluse bite and then rub shit in it.

Supervisor : Bobby was late for work again.

Boss: yeah he needs to deal with that Missouri mattress or he's not gonna make the quotas.

by PhantomEagle November 24, 2023

Missouri facial

When someone sits on someone else's fave and starts ripping ass

Mason "how did you get pink eye?"
Rain "oh I got a Missouri facial last night"

by Qwertyioppasdf January 22, 2024

Missoteriliatronisticism

A word that appears if you type in bWlzc290ZXJpbGlhdHJvbmlzdGljaXNt into a Base64 decoder. It has no meaning, and no google results appear when you search it up.

"bWlzc290ZXJpbGlhdHJvbmlzdGljaXNt"
"missoteriliatronisticism"
"???"
"thats what bWlzc290ZXJpbGlhdHJvbmlzdGljaXNt means apparently"
"thats not even a word"
"dude what did you even type into the encoder?"
"good question"

by T_Jenkins May 2, 2024

Missouri Welder

The sexual act of acting like you are going down on a female partner and spreading open her vaginal lips and applying super glue between them and then holding them shut thus giving you a “welded” effect.

Bro 1: I heard you just graduated welding school congratulations bro!

Bro 2: what are you talking about I never went to welding school?

Bro 1: Are you sure my sister said you’re the best Missouri welder around?

Bro 2: OH YEAH! Definitely not what you’re thinking!

by That1Lineman March 8, 2024

Missouri Abortion

When you force a pregnant woman to stay with her abuser until he beats her into a miscarriage.

Guy 1: Bro, did you hear? Missouri passed a law preventing divorce during pregnancy, even in cases of abuse!
Guy 2: That's crazy, we're going to see a lot of Missouri Abortions because of this.

by It's A Clown's World March 15, 2024

Missouri Fist Bump

When your fisting your girl in the vagina your buddy starts to fist her anus so that your fist bump

Hey man you down to missouri fist bump the girl I met at the bar.

by Stupid Pipe layer November 22, 2024

Missouri caterpillar

Putting a caterpillar egg in your urethra, when you see it start to crawl out masturbate until you cum out the caterpillar

I tried to Missouri caterpillar last week but it died inside

by anonymous November 26, 2024