john funk

a very self absorbed femboy twink, a knee slapper, a self proclaimed man , a comedian, a gigolo, his intro song is “i aint got nobody (just a gigolo) by louis prima”. money getting, hes a grinderrr oh oh oh ohhh he get money fr oh oh oh oh ohh, likes to slap tf out hoes if out of line, he spreads the love alll arounddd, the one and only big nasty, he likes to feather his mullet, does roids on a daily basis and ends up getting hemorrhoids from the strong strain, unleashes the most diabolical, unhinged, life taking, nose hair burning farts ever. also shits himself alot bc of the strain and pressure of the farts.

“yoo is that john funk?” “yeah bro i heard he got the gnarliest farts ever man”

*farts*

*burns nose hairs off*

“damm nigga chill out u pullin a john funk w those farts”

*looking in the mirror w self obsession*
“aye bro u ever gonna leave the mirror alone?”
“nah im the fairest of them all the mirror said so”

by jim bithell March 10, 2025

John Quinn

If your plan includes credit reports, scores, and/or credit monitoring features ("Credit Features"), two requirements must be met to receive said features: (i) your identity must be successfully verified with Equifax; and (ii) Equifax must be able to locate your credit file and it must contain sufficient credit history information. IF EITHER OF THE FOREGOING REQUIREMENTS ARE NOT MET YOU WILL NOT RECEIVE CREDIT FEATURES FROM ANY BUREAU. If your plan also includes Credit Features from Experian and/or TransUnion, the above verification process must also be successfully completed with Experian and/or TransUnion, as applicable. If verification is successfully completed with Equifax, but not with Experian and/or TransUnion, as applicable, you will not receive Credit Features from such bureau(s) until the verification process is successfully completed and until then you will only receive Credit Features from Equifax. Any credit monitoring from Experian and TransUnion will take several days to begin after your successful plan enrollment.

I really hope that John Quinn doesn't clean me out tonight. 🥴🥴

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by 60-Day Money Back Guarantee wi October 12, 2020

Pulling a John

A guy who gets daily wet dreams of fucking a humanoid horses from My Little Pony (Rainbow Dash), and maybe with a threesome of Rainbow Dash AND Sunset Glimmer! He loves specifying little details of fucking her, and uses GbayIsCyclone’s adlib against him. (Adlib: That’s How It Works, Yo!)

John: So bro Rainbow Dash and I fucked, and u were walking in and was scarred

GbayIsCyclone: bruh stop, ur Pulling a John.

John: That’s how it works, yo!

GbayIsCyclone: stop using my adlib goddamn it!

by GbayIsCyclone September 2, 2022

John

his last name is fucking longer than both his first and middle name combined

"hey have you met john pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosisdeitysmurglewithermith?"
"what is that fucking last name"

by superbigmaster June 21, 2023

John

Always right

That man is such a John at math

by Homie j May 12, 2021

John 🥰

When someone of a “Studly” category preferably tier 0-1 Studly is called This because they are affectionated by either famous stud JT08 Or Charlie Taylor which is a compliment to most “normal” people

“Damn you must be John 🥰”

Mhm the one and only , boutta hit up Arby's want to watch me eat the whole menu

by anonymous January 27, 2021

John Elway

When you use your finger to block one nostril and blow hard through the other nostril, sending a glob of snot flying out of your nose at a high rate of speed.

It feels so great to John Elway during a shower.

by Carhgo72 November 2, 2022