Skip to main content

Phantom Wanker

A person who masturbates in the room as soon as his roommate leaves, leaving behind no evidence of his deed unless the unfortunate roommate returns too quickly.
Guy 1: Does your room mate have a girlfriend?
Guy 2: No, but I think he's a phantom wanker
by HankyPanky4255 November 1, 2011
mugGet the Phantom Wankermug.

Perpetual Wanker

One of unusually small stature who never suffers from blisters or friction burns on the hands, having gained immunity after years of virtually non stop wanking.
Well of course you don't get friction burns, you're a perpetual wanker.
by Threadpuller March 25, 2011
mugGet the Perpetual Wankermug.

Kimono wanker

A person who comes to Japan on thier gap year to 'discover' themselves whilst saying YOLO every 2 minutes, walking around in a kimono, trying to 'immerse themselves in the culture', whilst failing completely, which only adds to their general twattery!
Look at that wanker, walking around in the kimono, he was always a good for nothing meff! Absolutely a kimono wanker!
by Boom1986 May 31, 2019
mugGet the Kimono wankermug.

Wanker notes

The contents of a porn magazine
Wanker notes. "I'll now go home and practise my adagio"
by Øystein72 April 23, 2008
mugGet the Wanker notesmug.

Lil Wanker

When your a teenager or Young adult and your babysitting your friends little brother, who is usually 13 or 14 in this case, and you come into his room and you catch him Wanking off to you. The babysitter is usually a Female when this occurs
Mother: How was my Little Angel?

Babysitter: I caught him being a Lil Wanker in his room jacking off to me
by Mr Hoe dim May 27, 2020
mugGet the Lil Wankermug.

Peaky Wanker

A person or loser constantly sharing inspirational quotes on social media usually threatening in some way and emblazoned on a picture of a fictional sociopath. Typically Tommy Shelby of Peaky Blinders.
"Jerry's wife left him again, look for our Facebook feed to be filled with Peaky Wanker memes..."
by DanLox May 21, 2021
mugGet the Peaky Wankermug.

noodle wanker

1. One who plays guitar

2. One who masturbates profusely (male specific)
Guy 1: this band is so good

Guy 2: guy is a real noodle wanker
by Noodlewankassdankass February 19, 2009
mugGet the noodle wankermug.

Share this definition