A cranberry fountain is when a man fingers a woman on her period with a flicking motion, causing menstrual blood to squirt upwards like a fountain
by Eshmansam May 5, 2025
Get the Cranberry Fountainmug. Noun: An act in which a man or a woman kneels down and then tilts their head to have their open mouth toward the ceiling. Another person then straddles the kneeling person(the fountain)'s face, so that their anus is atop the fountain's forehead and their genitals facing towards the fountain's mouth.
The person is then to begin urination into the fountain's mouth, at which point the fountain begins the gargle the urine. The person is then to push a small amount of fecal matter from their anus onto the fountain's forehead and then draw a cross shape on the fountains forehead, reminiscent of drawing a cross on someone's forehead on Ash Tuesday, hence the name 'A Maderno Fountain', as the Maderno Fountain is a fountain in Saint Peter's square.
The person is then to begin urination into the fountain's mouth, at which point the fountain begins the gargle the urine. The person is then to push a small amount of fecal matter from their anus onto the fountain's forehead and then draw a cross shape on the fountains forehead, reminiscent of drawing a cross on someone's forehead on Ash Tuesday, hence the name 'A Maderno Fountain', as the Maderno Fountain is a fountain in Saint Peter's square.
"Mate he's a proper creepy cunt, he probably gets off to people making him into A Maderno Fountain."
by Grumblebumble November 24, 2021
Get the A Maderno Fountain.mug. by Alofi February 25, 2022
Get the human fountainmug. by MaiaFlowers September 19, 2019
Get the Fountainmug. by Some 11 yo June 4, 2024
Get the Ear fountainmug. A performance involving the concurrent consumption of beer, and public urination. The performer typically executes this by synchronizing the production of urine with the initiation of a "waterfall" stylistic-drinking manoeuvre, and shall attempt to demonstrate technical artistry by actively controlling the volumetric beer flow-rate in precise response to changes sensed in the urine stream pressure-drop.
Sufficiently skillful execution results in a suspension of disbelief for all observers of the intended suggestion, viz., that the beer is indeed flowing directly between the performer's esophagus and distal urinary meatus, mysteriously circumventing the natural physiological processes which ordinarily conduct such fluid transport operations over a considerably longer time frame.
Sufficiently skillful execution results in a suspension of disbelief for all observers of the intended suggestion, viz., that the beer is indeed flowing directly between the performer's esophagus and distal urinary meatus, mysteriously circumventing the natural physiological processes which ordinarily conduct such fluid transport operations over a considerably longer time frame.
Observer 1: (Hands a can of beer to the performer)
Performer: (Unseals the can, assumes a customary urination stance and takes out his penis)
Observer 1: "Yea, though the very notion of it be most incredulous, verily I am compelled to inquire: Do you truly mean to void your water, unduly in my presence, bro?"
Observer 2: "I beg to assure you bro, with the entirety of my conviction, that the scene which unfolds before us is not one of capricious folly! But lo, what sport! Indeed, what exquisite fortune! For bro means to gift the lot of us with the hallowed spectacle of a Fountain of Archimedes!"
Performer: (Begins simultaneously pissing and pouring beer from the can into his mouth)
Observer 1: "Good God, bro! But what fantastic machinations must bro be cloistering in his very form, that might afford him the commission of such a prodigious feat? I find myself overcome by titillation, bro, inundating my senses and, yea, my very wit to such a degree that surely I shall have to swoon down upon the earth this very instant if I am to retain any semblance of dignity! And shall I dare to regale my bros in absentia with such unconscionable witness, on pain of being rightly diminished in credibility to that of some crazed, braying beast, its brains having been riven with holes from foraging upon a most devilish specimen of the noxious weeds - ...."
(Everyone else has left)
Performer: (Unseals the can, assumes a customary urination stance and takes out his penis)
Observer 1: "Yea, though the very notion of it be most incredulous, verily I am compelled to inquire: Do you truly mean to void your water, unduly in my presence, bro?"
Observer 2: "I beg to assure you bro, with the entirety of my conviction, that the scene which unfolds before us is not one of capricious folly! But lo, what sport! Indeed, what exquisite fortune! For bro means to gift the lot of us with the hallowed spectacle of a Fountain of Archimedes!"
Performer: (Begins simultaneously pissing and pouring beer from the can into his mouth)
Observer 1: "Good God, bro! But what fantastic machinations must bro be cloistering in his very form, that might afford him the commission of such a prodigious feat? I find myself overcome by titillation, bro, inundating my senses and, yea, my very wit to such a degree that surely I shall have to swoon down upon the earth this very instant if I am to retain any semblance of dignity! And shall I dare to regale my bros in absentia with such unconscionable witness, on pain of being rightly diminished in credibility to that of some crazed, braying beast, its brains having been riven with holes from foraging upon a most devilish specimen of the noxious weeds - ...."
(Everyone else has left)
by spider kidsz April 24, 2025
Get the Fountain of Archimedesmug. A sexual maneuver wherein Person A gives Person B a blowjob, leans in for a kiss, then spits the cum into Person B's mouth without warning.
by bichasse June 3, 2016
Get the Splitsville Fountainmug.