Raymond's Mustache

Raymond's Mustache is a God tier entity which has assimilated with Raymond's upper lip. This mustache is in fact sentient and has partial control over Raymond's actions, thoughts, and decisions. The mustache has existed long before Raymond has been alive, however, Raymond is the mustache's favorite host thus far. This mustache's biological trail can be traced back to the early 18th century, its first host was Black Beard.

The Biology

The mustache is impervious to fire, cold temperatures, acid, hair remover, and most other dangers present to a mustache. While there is no recorded evidence of the mustache being shaved or damaged by a razor, it is able to be trimmed by the host. While there is no danger to the host from assimilation, if he host decides to attempt to remove or shave the mustache the hair follicles with pierce the brain stem, killing the host. After the hosts death the mustache has approximately 48 hours to find a new host and begin the new assimilation.

The mustache connects to the host's brain by burrowing its fair follicles through the upper lip and through the skull to attach to the brain stem. The pheromones released by the hair endings control the release and reception of different chemicals in the brain, this usually ends up in the host becoming syndical and 'grumpy'. Raymond is no different, the composition of his brain is forever changed so that the mustache will stay in one place rich in nutrients and where the climate perfectly supports its growth.
Man, that thing is stronger than Raymond's Mustache
by Lusamyne February 13, 2021
mugGet the Raymond's Mustachemug.

vampire mustache

A ring of menstral blood on the upper lip caused by eating a girl out on her period.
I didn't know she was raggin but when I cane up I had a wicked vampire mustache.
by MrBubbleBukake March 3, 2015
mugGet the vampire mustachemug.

Mustache Mike

A badass security guard who has a badass nickname. This nickname has no other connotations other than BADASS...AND BALD!!!
Mustache Mike is out on patrol, I hope nobody gets in his way.
by Dan the man1986 November 24, 2020
mugGet the Mustache Mikemug.

mustache dick

i have a mustache dick
by Asshairy September 5, 2017
mugGet the mustache dickmug.

monkey mustache

When someone shaves your face to look like a monkey tail. It requires facial hair like a chinstrap and a mustache that is able to connect to the bottom of the face.

Created by Ma Dukes.
There are no examples.

Just google monkey mustache for images.
by Sir Prize69 January 16, 2014
mugGet the monkey mustachemug.

Mustache Warmer

When you want to sit on someone's face or would like to.
I'm vladimir putin's mustache warmer.

I want to be your mustache warmer.
by Suicide_Snuggy August 11, 2022
mugGet the Mustache Warmermug.

milwaukee mustache

Giving oral sex to a female during their ovulation cycle, thus leaving a red "mustache" on ones upper lip.
Bro, my girl was on her period lastnight when I ate her out, and left me with a Milwaukee mustache!
by Agent_Hollywood January 2, 2018
mugGet the milwaukee mustachemug.

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