Douche canoe

A person who has exceeded the levels of douche bag and is not quite douchey enough to be considered an asshole.

Guy 1: Carl is such a douche bag!
Guy 2: That's an understatement, he's a douche canoe!

by Gotham in ashes August 31, 2013

douche canoe

someone who is the worst person, so much that they're as bad as several douches combined

"Ugh, I really hate him."
"I know right? He's such a douche canoe."

by Bitch Canoe December 12, 2023

clam canoe

Another term for the vagina

My clam canoe is hurting.

by Terra Eaker March 18, 2023

Canoe Slapped

Performing the Cunnilingual arts with such a profound skill and vigor as to cause a woman to gyrate her hips uncontrollably, inevitably thrusting them upwards with orgasmic energy enough to knock the absolute fuck out of your greasy mug and send it flying back, potentially injuring both parties.

-Dude, what happened to your front teeth!?
- Man, I wath eating Sthathy's box out and that evil little bath'dard in the pink canoe reared up and thucker punched the thhid out'a me!
- Dude, you totally got canoe slapped!! Nice!
-Fuck you, I'm gay now...want a blowjob?
-Fine, but no teeth.

by Someone who misses their balls October 29, 2015

Cano

A much who can build a house but can’t build a bench!

Omg he’s such a cano

by Jung kookie July 22, 2023

Bought a canoe

Euphemism for deceit, or going on the run. In reference to the John Darwin disappearance case, who was presumed drowned after his canoe was found washed up on the NE coast of England in 2002, and whose fraud was exposed by a smiling photograph of him and his wife in a Panamanian real estate agency in 2007. His wife had collected £250000 on John's life insurance policy.

'Have you seen Chris lately?' 'No but I heard the the cops were looking for him, so maybe he bought a canoe'

'Sharon is worried that Dave is cheating on her with Ronnie, do you know anything?' 'Well, I'm not saying he's bought a canoe but i have seen them together'

by Batatz March 8, 2024

Douche Canoe

A person that on regular basis acts in a non polite away, typically a man, trying to repeatedly (just like you are paddling a canoe down the river) hurt you, usually doing or saying things out of spite, or spreading rumors that are not even accurate.

Hameed is such a douche canoe. Every week something new!

by JasonC123 August 14, 2021