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The Elevator Paradox

So this is a way to confuse everyone around you in an elevator when you walk in.
When you walk in an elevator, you do not turn around to face the door and continute to stare at the back of the Elevator.
To achieve maximum confusion, you walk out facing the same way untill the people in the elevator can no longer see you.
Me: *walks into an elevator, doesn't turn to look at the door*
Guy 1: Whats he doing, why is it making me unnerved.
Guy 2: Careful! He's creating The Elevator Paradox, just let him be and he'll go away... uncomfortably..
by EU Terrorist November 5, 2019
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the Johnson Paradox

The Johnson Paradox is a phenomenon where a group of people love and support an individual, despite that individual lying repeatedly and showing the utmost corruption and hypocrisy in their daily life.

The individual might also be completely in contempt of their supporters and morally destitute, but the supporters cannot see the individual for what they are and support them regardless.
Reasonable Person 1: "So he lied to everyone and was forced out of office by his own party, yet when he returned yesterday, he was met with thunderous applause?"
Reasonable Person 2: "It's the Johnson Paradox in effect."
by HypocrisySanctimony July 3, 2024
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Che Guevara Paradox

The Che Guevara Paradox is a phenomenon in which corporations (as well as individual's) claim to support the same ideologies of Che Guevara but in reality practice ideologies that are the opposite.
Person 1: it's always funny to see becky wear a Che Guevara Shirt dispite the fact that her family owns a diamond mine in africa.

Person 2: The Che Guevara Paradox continues...
by Dr. asdf September 2, 2025
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Car Climate Paradox

When someone raises the car temperature to make it warm inside the car when it’s cold outside, even though you wore coyotes for the cold weather causing you to become hot very quickly
“I keep telling Susan that the Car Climate Paradox is making her hot in her car during the winter”
by BravoArmstrong December 3, 2020
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Hoe Paradox

The idea that if you care about hoes you don't get any, therefore the less you care the more you get.
by hoemaker March 2, 2024
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self-help paradox

The age-old conundrum of "people who seek self-improvement vs. people who need self-improvement" --- generally speaking, the people who are conscientious and unashamedly self-examining enough to actively seek ways to improve themselves do not really need to self-improve very much, whereas the people who truly do need to improve themselves will not admit that they even HAVE a self-inadequacy problem, and so they arrogantly/impatiently refuse to seek or accept help in improving their character or behavior (think, the infamous "getters gettin' got" conversation between Madea and Dr. Phil).
Client, to counsellor, at the outset of their weekly meeting: Breaker one-five for reality check --- come on back?
Counsellor, playing along: Yeah, go ahead, Breaker --- reading you wall-to-wall and treetop-tall.
Client: Thanks --- that's a big ten-four, good buddy. Well, I'm in the process of trying to improve myself, and so I thought I'd send a random shout-out over the waves to check my progress. I've been trying to be more sociable and patient and helpful to everyone, visualize things more from their perspective, and so on.
Counsellor: Well, eights and other good numbers to you on THAT one, good buddy --- that's certainly a positive start. Have you tried self-help books?
Client: Oh, a great BIG ten-four THERE, good buddy --- I've read at least a half-dozen of 'em cover-to-cover, and loved every page; the problem, though, is that I never seem to find any new ideas --- most everything in there is stuff I already know about and am actively practicing, so the books just reassuringly confirm the nature and wisdom of my efforts, not provide fresh perspectives for further improvement.
Counsellor: Ah... well, ten-four, good buddy --- I totally "get you" there... the old "self-help paradox", eh?? The only people who'll read those books are ones who don't need 'em!
by QuacksO February 3, 2017
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Bari Mahir Paradox

A romantic and totally illogical-yet-cute theory that states: "If a boyfriend does something wrong, it's his girlfriend's fault because he belongs to her, and all his actions are influenced by her presence in his life."
Rano: "Why did you forget our date night?"

Mahir: "Because of the Bari Mahir Paradox. I'm yours, so technically... you forgot it through me."

Rano: rolls eyes but secretly loves
by Porous oblivion April 22, 2025
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