by Labial Licker November 5, 2019

The tin can that you keep in your closet that works as a makeshift pocket pussy. Typically filled with a random condiment to stimulate pleasure in horny pre-teens.
Person A: I think my parents found my metal muff this morning.
Person B: That's why I leave beans in mine, they don't suspect a thing.
Person B: That's why I leave beans in mine, they don't suspect a thing.
by Mr.Diddler March 6, 2019

An icecream cone with shit and jizz in it, then shoved in a girls pussy, just being able to eat the shit and jizz out of the icecream cone...First, you would get an icecream cone, then have you or your partner (which ever you would prefer)to shit in it. Then have the guy jizz on top of the shit.After this you would shove the Neopolitan Muff in the girls pussy, and lastly you would eat it. The shit=chocolate, the jizz=vanilla, the pussy=strawberry.
by JMTM September 22, 2010

A dude so lame, so rubs with the opposite sex, he barely has to say two words before the woman throws a drink or sometimes an alligator in your face as she is like MEGA repelled by your being on this planet.
Eww Patrice, that dude was SUCH a muff-repellent, I spoke to him on MSN one night and I was sick all over my keyboard having to see his picture!
by Muse_Luver December 5, 2009

by Thunda J June 25, 2008

A brazenly wild and unkempt bush. Common among moms who don't have time to shower, much less shave or get a Brazilian.
Wow, my mom-muff is out of the control. Gotta tame this before bikini season!
Love me, love my mom muff.
Love me, love my mom muff.
by mommuff June 24, 2014

Unentered vagina, virgin pussy, muff that has never been descended upon, uncharted territory, uneaten pie.
One must have utmost respect for the mystery-muff and only go diving if he wishes to partake in the activities of it for at least another week, seeing as though the availability of such is diminished in urban society.
When demystified you will know as it bleeds for short periods of time, perhaps half a day, and is a mystery to men no longer.
Still classified as mystery no matter what amount of diving one is involved in.
Sometimes used by ho bags to try and convince people to engage them without the use of disinfectant. (see: ho bag)
Sometimes one may refer to the virgin herself as mystery muff.
One must have utmost respect for the mystery-muff and only go diving if he wishes to partake in the activities of it for at least another week, seeing as though the availability of such is diminished in urban society.
When demystified you will know as it bleeds for short periods of time, perhaps half a day, and is a mystery to men no longer.
Still classified as mystery no matter what amount of diving one is involved in.
Sometimes used by ho bags to try and convince people to engage them without the use of disinfectant. (see: ho bag)
Sometimes one may refer to the virgin herself as mystery muff.
by ObWan July 29, 2010
