OH GOD PLS HELP HUMANS

THE HUMAN RACE IS A FAILURE

jerry: what are you doing james?
james: OH GOD PLS HELP HUMANS WE ARE ALL A DISSAPOINTMET AND ARE GONNA FUCKING DIE
jerry: I think you cocaine addiction is getting out of hand

by PLSHELPIAMINGREATPAI69420 July 21, 2021

Christmas Help

An imaginary overflated opinion of ones self. Thinking one is above basic tasks.

Ones overflated opinion of ones self. Thinking one is above basic tasks.

Ron - Mark, can you help me move a desk from Ken's office to my house? I have a truck.

Mark - don't be a cunt Ron, do you think you are dealing with the Christmas help?

by Bertie Big Bollox December 10, 2010

Stealth Help

1: verb: To help someone without them knowing that you're helping them

1: Maybe you should write a stealth help book
2: Pastor: God is a master at the art of stealth help.

by TheEpicN00b August 20, 2011

Squad Help

When Two Or More Friends Help You In A Fight

When We Fight After School,No Squad Help

by Anarchy_123 February 19, 2015

Woman help

When you're moving a large object, and the other person kind of just touches the other end without actually lifting, or putting their hands close to the object as if trying to somehow move it with their mind.

Gee, thanks for the woman help...I think I got it from here...

by ';ljm';jm';j';j';k' November 28, 2015

Man help

Thisb when you need help with thing that require physical strength like taking a lid off a jar for example.

I need man help. I can't get this television out of my car.

by MarianneM January 2, 2017

self-help paradox

The age-old conundrum of "people who seek self-improvement vs. people who need self-improvement" --- generally speaking, the people who are conscientious and unashamedly self-examining enough to actively seek ways to improve themselves do not really need to self-improve very much, whereas the people who truly do need to improve themselves will not admit that they even HAVE a self-inadequacy problem, and so they arrogantly/impatiently refuse to seek or accept help in improving their character or behavior (think, the infamous "getters gettin' got" conversation between Madea and Dr. Phil).

Client, to counsellor, at the outset of their weekly meeting: Breaker one-five for reality check --- come on back?
Counsellor, playing along: Yeah, go ahead, Breaker --- reading you wall-to-wall and treetop-tall.
Client: Thanks --- that's a big ten-four, good buddy. Well, I'm in the process of trying to improve myself, and so I thought I'd send a random shout-out over the waves to check my progress. I've been trying to be more sociable and patient and helpful to everyone, visualize things more from their perspective, and so on.
Counsellor: Well, eights and other good numbers to you on THAT one, good buddy --- that's certainly a positive start. Have you tried self-help books?
Client: Oh, a great BIG ten-four THERE, good buddy --- I've read at least a half-dozen of 'em cover-to-cover, and loved every page; the problem, though, is that I never seem to find any new ideas --- most everything in there is stuff I already know about and am actively practicing, so the books just reassuringly confirm the nature and wisdom of my efforts, not provide fresh perspectives for further improvement.
Counsellor: Ah... well, ten-four, good buddy --- I totally "get you" there... the old "self-help paradox", eh?? The only people who'll read those books are ones who don't need 'em!

by QuacksO February 3, 2017