A lumbering, sub-human brute with a bulbous frame and an unnaturally wide base. His thick, fat, calloused hooves are often crammed into women’s footwear. His face, a big, dumb, perfectly round slab of confusion, sits atop his hairy mass, though his scalp remains curiously barren. He speaks in a slow, monotone drawl, as if each word is a struggle against his own stupidity.
Chronically late to work and a walking medical mystery (at least in his own mind), he suffers from an extreme case of hypochondria. His days are punctuated by dramatic medical ailments, followed by frantic calls for an ambulance to ferry him from his own home, only for doctors to confirm, yet again, that absolutely nothing is wrong.
A connoisseur of filth, this swamp-dwelling specimen produces greasy, bile-ridden shits at an alarming rate. He is a walking biohazard, harboring every known strain of hepatitis along with a few that science has yet to discover.
Despite his Neanderthal-like attributes, Brad possesses a shockingly average IQ. However, his dental history suggests a level of neglect that has single-handedly funded his dentist’s children’s college tuition. Though Big Bad Brad’s underwear is often covered in matted hair and shit, he remains a friend to all and, in his free time, a self-proclaimed world-class chiropractor, despite having no formal training or hygiene standards.
Chronically late to work and a walking medical mystery (at least in his own mind), he suffers from an extreme case of hypochondria. His days are punctuated by dramatic medical ailments, followed by frantic calls for an ambulance to ferry him from his own home, only for doctors to confirm, yet again, that absolutely nothing is wrong.
A connoisseur of filth, this swamp-dwelling specimen produces greasy, bile-ridden shits at an alarming rate. He is a walking biohazard, harboring every known strain of hepatitis along with a few that science has yet to discover.
Despite his Neanderthal-like attributes, Brad possesses a shockingly average IQ. However, his dental history suggests a level of neglect that has single-handedly funded his dentist’s children’s college tuition. Though Big Bad Brad’s underwear is often covered in matted hair and shit, he remains a friend to all and, in his free time, a self-proclaimed world-class chiropractor, despite having no formal training or hygiene standards.
After clogging the toilet for the third time that week, Bad News Brad waddled out, wiped his sweaty brow, and blamed it on his undiagnosed heart condition.
by Dwaggerbomb March 13, 2025
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Get the Brad I’m sorry mug.A sexy scruffy man who takes care of you while he guzzles 1942. He’s often grumpy and so you will be too. When he’s stingy with affection it will make you furious. When he’s loving he’s heaven to be with. I like to remind him to laugh at life and enjoy every moment even and especially the boring ones. He gets really mad when I point out that I think he’s wrong so sometimes it’s best to just hold his hand and let him drive in the wrong direction for 30 minutes until he figures it out himself. He knows he is loved but has a hard time feeling it. It takes a special persistence and lack of ego to make Brad feel loved.
Brad loves me. 🤍
by yourwelcomez November 23, 2021
Get the Brad mug.Brad Lee is the hottest light skin in the 612. Standing at 6’1, half black half Dominican with eyes that can make you do something dangerous, it’s hard to look a way. One lip bite and you might find yourself acting up… just be sure you have $20 on hand.
by Not Brad Lee November 22, 2021
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The worst pirate to ever live. his booty wasn't bountiful, his ship was just a sloop, he was sent to the brig, his parrot has no feathers, his crew didn't even have scurvy. he got a bounty of 1 shilling and got caught the next day.
by bradbeard hater March 9, 2023
Get the Brad Beard mug.Beach Read After Dark - basically, a romance novel that is heavy on the steamy scenes and light on the plot. Coined by @beachreadsandbubbly
by Beachreads&Bubbly August 23, 2022
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