A destroyer of expectations and Johns hate them. Quiet and brilliant when he wants to be, but also loud and insane. Extremely talented but never shows it, can be greedy but shares with those he loves. A John just doesn't care because in his eyes you were unworthy, a John is better than you. A John doesn't speak to you because he's scared, if he did talk to you, it was either for necessity, pity, or for a slim few, respect. Women are lucky for a John to take interest in them because a John will be a golden retriever boyfriend who can also control you and take care of you the right way. A Johns memory is better than a crazy ex-girlfriends. A deuce, hear him out, you will agree with him and hate yourself for doing so. A John will also make you feel the most insane orgasms and genuinely makes you feel like he cares about you in both bed and wherever else, and he genuinely will care about you. Most likely a closeted racist/ anti-homosexual. A Johns politics are heartless but right, because of how handsome or funny they are you will just go along with it anyway because you want to be privileged enough to touch him. A John is able to admit when he’s wrong and change. A John will end up getting over it so fast that he will end up living in your head while he's already been on the next thing for a while. A walking contradiction. A John hates the spotlight but finds themselves drawn to it. A John is a demigod on earth who could lead us to greatness but feels like we don't deserve it.
Guy 1: That dude's such a bitch.
Guy 2: Be careful man, guy's a total John, you better hope he didn't hear you.
Guy 1: Really? What's gonna happen?
10 minutes later... (Explosion)
Guy 1: HOLY SHIT MY CAR EXPLODED
Guy 2: Be careful man, guy's a total John, you better hope he didn't hear you.
Guy 1: Really? What's gonna happen?
10 minutes later... (Explosion)
Guy 1: HOLY SHIT MY CAR EXPLODED
by Nannerzona December 08, 2023
Saying "jOHn" is a way of telling any of your friends named John "oh" while calling them at the same time.
by Alola_ March 17, 2018
John is WHITE. not only does he drink pumpkin spice lattes he also plays football. sometimes he can be funny but is still really white and weird. he is also a VERY DRY texter
by jackesgossipgirl August 24, 2020
by To Quynh Phu from Vietnam May 06, 2022
john is an adorable boy with an unusually dry and sarcastic sense of humor. although he is super funny, he usually uses humor as a coping mechanism. he's pretty shy at first and takes awhile to open up, but once he does he becomes more comfortable around you and will definitely confide in you. he has a great taste in music and likes alternative, unpopular bands. he is very small and thin, and he also has the cutest brown eyes. he is really adorable but has no idea. he is pretty insecure so he stands with bad posture. he can seem jaded and negative a lot of the time, but he is the best friend you could ever ask for. it's hard not to have a crush on him :)
by slytherdor October 08, 2020
by doxxd August 31, 2023