having absolutely no life at all

sitting awake at 3 am looking at goat pics, reporting morgz, and bing in a fucking stupid discord call with someone who have never met, and never will meet, because you have no real friends, no real life, and you are just overall a fucking failure as an individual. Meanwhile someone living about 10 mins away from you texts you that have been drawing dicks for the past hour for absolutely no reason other than that you probably ruined their life in some way, because you are a fucking cancer patient

its pretty damn gay having absolutely no life at all.

having absolutely no life at all by lost_on_reddit July 27, 2019

An absolute clown 

A girl who the boy likes her and then she catches feelings and he doesn’t like her anymore

Nicole is an absolute clown and how dare
Pietro do that to her.

An absolute clown by Mouse lover November 9, 2019

an.absolute.simp 

A vyn stan in denial

an.absolute.simp loves vyn but doesn't want to <3

an.absolute.simp by .mammonswife September 6, 2021

Ivan (absolute lad) 

Guy with the biggest cock
Usually grows around 75 yards(68.58 meters)

Girl: Ivan (absolute lad) has the biggest cock
Girl's Best Friend: I can see, he's such a great guy.

Ivan (absolute lad) by Inoco November 21, 2021

the absolute mother fucking greatest

The absolute mother fucking greatest!!

See Madeline over there? She’s the absolute mother fucking greatest. I wish I could be like her

the absolute mother fucking greatest by Stegosaurusrexx November 24, 2021

the absolute SEXIEST man alive

dom is the sexiest man alive and he loves watching gay midget hardcore anal hentai

somebody walks into doms room...
dom is naked and he glittering somehow and in the back round you see hentai porn
Man"what are doing"
Dom"what do you think i'm doing"
Man"you are the absolute SEXIEST man alive"

the absolute SEXIEST man alive by me kill YOU December 15, 2022

Getting Absolutely Got 

"Something that's so embarrassing, so deeply uncomfortable, or so discusting that your face contorts, you make noises like a constipated frog, and you get a feeling in your stomach, the feeling that you've got...

Got" -Grill Burns

Getting Absolutely Got is basically like getting T.S.G.V.

Getting Absolutely Got by RoseRed669 January 21, 2023