VAR

The scenario: The rangers player got dribbled past in the box by a Celtic player from which he dived. The VAR Person is female.

Rangers player (still whinging): AHH! REF! PENALTY!!
The Celtic defender + goalie: Och! Get up the noo! Ya diver!
The Ref: Yeah thats a dive mate
VAR Person (saying in the refs earpiece): OH NO ITS NOT!
Ref: Its clear he did no touch him!
VAR Person: But, but, but the player is in my fantasy team!
Ref: So? He was a bloody meter away!
Var Person: But, but, but (starts crying) WAHHHH! IM A RANGERS FAN!!! WAHHHHH!
Ref: Ive got no choice
Ref: Sadly, its a pen.
Rangers player: YAYYYYY!!!
Var Person: YAYYYYYY! Now i can get back to Fortnite OG!
Celtic Defender: What in the hell are these guys on?
Goalie: They're high thats for sure.
Ref: *gives*
Rangers Player decides to punch the defender in the face
Ref: RED CARD! YOUR FUCKING OFF!
VAR Person: WAHHHHHHHH! HE'S IN MY FANTASY TEAM!!

Var person: I also have a fantasy of him fucking me with his 10 inch cock!
Ref: No fanfic in stadia!
Var person: But im the Var Person! And he's so hot! *Starts moaning rapidly*
Ref: AYE THATS IT! IM NO LISTENING TO YA! HE'S FUCKING OFF!
Var person: Great! Now he can fuck me in peace!
Ref: SORRY BUT YOU'VE NO GOT A CHANCE WITH HIM!

Ref: GET THE FUCK OFF THIS PITCH!
Rangers player: ok
Rangers takes the pen
They miss
Celtic win the scottish cup
They win the Champions League
The fanfic of the var person and rangers player will continue soon

VAR IS BULLSHIT

by Celtic forever November 15, 2023

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Var-Sigma Male

A man who eats his own dick-cheese for breakfast, and washes them down with a clay-loam milkshake. A man who can smell a drop of cum wings from 10 miles away. A man who scalps his enemies — and has them begging for more. A man for whom the sigma lifestyle is too conventional; who paves his own path one chromosome at a time. The man who keeps "him" up at night.

"I heard you hooked up with Trent?"
"Yeah, he's a total var-sigma male"

by Wubby Counter-Terrorist March 17, 2024

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