Textile Dysfunction

Inability to maintain lasting performance in clothing, leading to social and psychological consequences. Mizzen+Main has cured thousands of men suffering from Textile Dysfuction in their dress shirts.

Side effects may include bloated self-esteem, excessive confidence, modeling contracts, adoration, winning at everything, and a higher sense of well-being.

Hey man, looks like you've got a bad case of Textile Dysfunction. In other words, you look like shit! Have you heard of Mizzen+Main? They've got a cure!

by Money_Mike_ November 9, 2018

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Textile

Someone who likes to text a lot; the messaging equivalent of tactile.

"I've just started seeing this guy - he messages me first thing in the morning, throughout the day, and last thing at night. He's very textile."

by Anna of Mayfield July 29, 2020

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Related Words

textilect • Testilectro Strawberry Sundae • textflection • textglected • Textileptic • Status Textilepticus • Textpectation • Textident • textile • textjected

Finnish Textile Plant

A person committing the act of a Finnish Textile Plant first punches his female victim in the gut, straight through to her ovaries, then jizzes directly in the hole thus ensuring pregnancy.

"We weren't sure if the mother was going to be able to live through the pregnancy after receiving the Finnish Textile Plant from her husband however we've realized the hole simplifies the birthday process."

-astounded medical professional

very similar to it's counterpart, the HTTP: Hyper Turkish Textile Plant

by TextileWorker September 25, 2011

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Textileptic

Someone who's phone is constantly on vibrate when they get a lot of texts; The owner of a phone that won't stop vibrating; someone who sends a lot of messages to other phones

Crystina's phone is constantly vibrating. She's such a textileptic.

by Lila Tourenette December 12, 2010

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