by JARELL GET BACK IN PRISON August 21, 2021
Get the School of science and technology mug.1366 guys. 41 girls. 300 girls who look like guys. 1138 will make more money than you. 1138 automatically realize that the value 1138 equals 2/3 of the student population.
Most common (basically only) majors: Engineering, Computer Science, and most shunned and looked down upon major of Business and Technology (99% athletes, 1% idiots)
Most commonly used pick up lines: “Would you like to see the exponential growth of my natural log?” and “I wish I were your derivative so I could lay tangent to your curves.” Most likely to be heard at a lame frat party where there are more computers than girls and mysteriously strong, yet unrealizable, alcoholic punch, which is the only hope most of these video game junkies have in getting any ass. The whole student population could be diagnosed with having Stevens’ goggles, the equal to 2 beer goggles. Girls have it just as bad as the guys. The phrase: “The odds are good, but the goods are odd” is commonly heard by the female students who are often favored by faculty because of their unfortunate situation.
Introverted. Awkward. Intelligent yet clueless. Both white and black races are minorities to the Asians and Mid East populations. Most people, especially professors, can’t speak fluent English, but since numbers, mathematical operations, and physics laws are universal, this is not seen as a problem. Most of these black and white minorities attend Stevens solely for athletics and make up most of the “normal” student population. The majority of this tech school only leaves their dorm rooms and video games to check their mail for new computer and video game merchandise and to attend LAN parties. If you’ve never heard of a LAN party, you have never been to Stevens. (It is a gathering of geeks/computer gamers for the sole purpose of playing Mutlti-player games over a network…and to view porn.) Most of these typical engineers can’t hold a normal conversation, let alone make a friend other than their most trusted and valuable companion…their thumb drive, a USB mass storage device.
Although a completely lame school, it is located in the fun and beautiful city of Hoboken, less than a mile from NYC, home to many male bachelor yuppies working in the city and the most bars per square foot of any city in the world.
Most common (basically only) majors: Engineering, Computer Science, and most shunned and looked down upon major of Business and Technology (99% athletes, 1% idiots)
Most commonly used pick up lines: “Would you like to see the exponential growth of my natural log?” and “I wish I were your derivative so I could lay tangent to your curves.” Most likely to be heard at a lame frat party where there are more computers than girls and mysteriously strong, yet unrealizable, alcoholic punch, which is the only hope most of these video game junkies have in getting any ass. The whole student population could be diagnosed with having Stevens’ goggles, the equal to 2 beer goggles. Girls have it just as bad as the guys. The phrase: “The odds are good, but the goods are odd” is commonly heard by the female students who are often favored by faculty because of their unfortunate situation.
Introverted. Awkward. Intelligent yet clueless. Both white and black races are minorities to the Asians and Mid East populations. Most people, especially professors, can’t speak fluent English, but since numbers, mathematical operations, and physics laws are universal, this is not seen as a problem. Most of these black and white minorities attend Stevens solely for athletics and make up most of the “normal” student population. The majority of this tech school only leaves their dorm rooms and video games to check their mail for new computer and video game merchandise and to attend LAN parties. If you’ve never heard of a LAN party, you have never been to Stevens. (It is a gathering of geeks/computer gamers for the sole purpose of playing Mutlti-player games over a network…and to view porn.) Most of these typical engineers can’t hold a normal conversation, let alone make a friend other than their most trusted and valuable companion…their thumb drive, a USB mass storage device.
Although a completely lame school, it is located in the fun and beautiful city of Hoboken, less than a mile from NYC, home to many male bachelor yuppies working in the city and the most bars per square foot of any city in the world.
"I saw a girl walking down Washington St and rated her a 3 out of 10. Once she stepped onto Stevens Institute of Technology campus, she immediately jumped to a 9 out of 10."
by Loooo June 27, 2007
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"As the legend goes, Jesus once encountered the Borg. The Borg attacked him, he turned the other cheek, and the Borg promptly sedated him. When he woke up, he had been assimilated. His new found fusion with the complex technology of the Borg was not something he rejected - he rejoiced. He swayed the Borg to be peaceful while he downloaded all the coolest new apps. He taught the Borg to meditate on compassion while he traded stocks from his iPhone. He cured the deaf among the Borg and gave them hands-free bluetooth ear pieces. He even showed them tranquility and sent them the most elite tracker invitations."
"Continually, he led them to enlightenment and free porn, but they were not satisfied. A glitch named Judas caused the Borg to attack Jesus. They soldered him to a steel wall. Though in his final moments he became entranced, marveling at visions of bleeding edge technology, he faded. As his last breath left his body, his netbook dropped from his hands and he died. Three days later he just kinda woke up. He rose into the air - floating, wrapped in a buzzword cloud widget. His gaze fell upon them as he ventured to speak, but nay, words did not come - only the most beautiful ringtone fluttered gaily from his lips and echoed throughout the cold halls of the cube. With that, the Borg bowed low and he vanished."
* The term technolojesus is now used widely as a title for anyone skilled with computers or electronics who also happens to be a compassionate badass with mad wisdom.
"Continually, he led them to enlightenment and free porn, but they were not satisfied. A glitch named Judas caused the Borg to attack Jesus. They soldered him to a steel wall. Though in his final moments he became entranced, marveling at visions of bleeding edge technology, he faded. As his last breath left his body, his netbook dropped from his hands and he died. Three days later he just kinda woke up. He rose into the air - floating, wrapped in a buzzword cloud widget. His gaze fell upon them as he ventured to speak, but nay, words did not come - only the most beautiful ringtone fluttered gaily from his lips and echoed throughout the cold halls of the cube. With that, the Borg bowed low and he vanished."
* The term technolojesus is now used widely as a title for anyone skilled with computers or electronics who also happens to be a compassionate badass with mad wisdom.
Bro, the other day this technolojesus came through and recovered my Brazillian fart-porn off my hard drive - I thought it was fragged, but this dude saved my life.
by moultedsaws October 26, 2010
Get the technolojesus mug.that guy is more "technologeable" than Bill Gates
by thegreatestofalltime August 28, 2009
Get the technologeable mug.A syndrome in which one gets so incredibly infuriated by technology the emotion boils up in one monosyllabic outburst; usually the word FUCK! Most commonly suffered by I.T. personnel but also know to affect smartphone users and elderly people with more than one remote control.
Bob's lost spreadsheet induced technological tourettes and got him a three day suspension and a lot of dirty looks from his bible-thumping co-workers.
by House, I.T. March 15, 2010
Get the Technological Tourettes mug.To strip technology of all meaningful features, thereby violating its original intent to solve problems in an automated way. This is typically done by an enterprise through a series of decisions made by folks with no understanding of technology, e.g. legal or risk. Fears that drive to these decisions are typically focused on trying to prevent behaviors through technology limitations, without isolating that the issue is the behavior. The end result will likely be a set of technology that looks similar to the current technology set, just with a different look and feel on top of a fundamentally rearchitected platform typically costing millions of dollars.
The approach would be equivalent to not allowing knives in the cafeteria for fear of stabbings vs not hiring people who won't stab each other. Only technologically neutering costs much more.
The approach would be equivalent to not allowing knives in the cafeteria for fear of stabbings vs not hiring people who won't stab each other. Only technologically neutering costs much more.
They technologically neutered the SharePoint environment by removing everything but the list and document library. It is no longer usable for its core collaboration functions.
We have technologically neutered our mobile email by not allowing attachments.
They technologically neutered their CRM by turning off the workflow features.
We have technologically neutered our mobile email by not allowing attachments.
They technologically neutered their CRM by turning off the workflow features.
by ColdheartedMatt May 8, 2012
Get the Technologically neutered mug.FM Technology (fucking magic technology)
Highly advanced term used to define any technology that you are unfamiliar with.
Highly advanced term used to define any technology that you are unfamiliar with.
by tinav December 6, 2009
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